I’ve vented before about the food program I belong to as a home daycare provider. It’s a love/hate relationship because while they do give me money…I kind of have to work for it, and they come over unannounced, and I’m usually doing something wrong.
I use the term “wrong” here loosely though because the things I’ve gotten in trouble for are beyond ridiculous. Meals discounted because I marked I fed the kids oranges when the monitor actually observed me giving them apples. You just can’t go recording the wrong fruit and expect to get paid for it.
They’re all about “policy”…so any time you try to argue a point they just kind of shrug their shoulders, “sorry, that’s our policy.”
For example, I can’t purchase “fast food” for the kids and claim it. There’s no reimbursement for fast food. Which is fine because seriously…there’s no real health benefit to most of it. However…what about Subway sandwiches and all of those great veggies? What about a pizza ordered fresh and baked at home?
Hmm-mm. Can’t claim it.
Policy.
But I can buy a cheap, gross, frozen cardboard pizza…sprinkle some extra cheese on it and claim that. It totally counts. However, a take and bake pizza, with ingredients that I guarantee are more fresh and healthier than a frozen pizza does not count.
Why? Because they can’t really be sure of how much cheese is put on a take and bake pizza. There’s no way of measuring that.
Can I sprinkle my own cheese on a take and bake pizza just like I need to on a frozen pizza? No.
Why? Policy.
Needless to say, when I see a food monitor at my front door I turn into a four year old. I don’t like them. I know they’re just doing their jobs, but the policies don’t make sense to me, I feel the food monitors are constantly contradicting themselves, and I find myself wanting to argue with them more than anything.
During the last visit I had I was informed that since I had not claimed ANY meals in the recent days, and since I’ve made it a habit not to claim meals…that I would now be put on probation and am required to claim all meals the very day they were given instead of waiting and claiming them all at once like I typically do.
The reason I have a problem with this is because I was recently told it was okay to a.) not claim days that I don’t get around to claiming or b.) keep a record and claim them all at once when I do get around to it. But now I’m in trouble for it.
Funny how policy shifts once the person in power is uncomfortable with how you’re using it. I was told I didn’t have to claim days if I couldn’t get around to it…now I’m being told that I need to call in when I’m not going to claim meals.
The problem is…I don’t know when I’m going to forget to claim meals before I forget to claim them. And if I’m going to forget to claim a meal (which at one point was fine) how do you suppose I’m going to remember to call you to tell you I’m forgetting?
And really? You want to receive a call from me every single day telling you I’m not claiming meals?
I hate these people. I always get in trouble and I’m far too old for that crap. If I leave the program under these conditions I will be blacklisted from all food programs in our state. They’re hardcore like that. And that makes me hate them more.
I also hate the stupid games they play to try to make learning about USDA Food Regulations fun. I DON’T WANT TO PLAY FOOD JEOPARDY. There. I said it.
I received notification of my “corrective action” exactly a month ago today…and…ahem…still haven’t claimed a meal…or called in to let them know I’m not claiming.
I guess we can see where this is going.
And when they call me to tell me I’m fired from the food program I’m going to cut them off mid sentence and scream NO I FIRE YOU!
And then I’m going to send them some frozen pizza and a baggie of shredded cheese. You know…because I care about their health.
The Prompts:
1.) Girls Night Out! Describe the last time you got to hang out with your friends? What stops you from doing this more often?
2.) If Social Media died tomorrow, describe another hobby you might get into.
3.) Share a Summer Camp memory.
4.) We’re too old to be getting in trouble…aren’t we? Write about a time you were scolded…as an adult.
5.) Barefoot and hormonal…describe an incident that upset you when you were pregnant, but now looking back makes you laugh.
6.) Create a video where you share your opinion on monetizing blogs. You are free to talk about whatever this topic inspires in you, but here are some sample questions: Are you willing to work with brands? Is it “selling out”? Can a blogger over do it? Do you have tips to share? A memorable experience working with a brand? etc.
pamela says
I am never opening a home daycare.
NEEEVER
Tonya says
Subway should totally be included. Have they seen that dude Jared?
Erin says
I think that is exactly why my old in home day care did NOT subscribe to that, I had to bring a carton of milk every day for my child, and the one time I forgot she told me all she had was skim milk.
But can you vlog it when you fire them? I wanna see that!
dysfunctional mom says
I used to work in a center here in FL and their rules were just as crazy!
Simone @Greatfun4kids says
Ouch.
People and their red tape. Ick.
What a pain. I would be just like you I’m sure.
I get “in trouble” with my hubby for not totalling up receipts – that’s bad enough.
Can’t imagine how forgetful I’d be on a food programme.
Like, really really forgetful.
Sorry you got scolded by those pen pushers. Boo to them.
Don’t they know who they are messing with???
A BLOGGER! That’s who.
Well, you sure told them. Or you will. Soon.
PS my story is “Preggy Brain Did it to Me” – but on the link it only says “Preggy brain” Cos there were too many letters.
Carrie says
How sad. They care more about their bureaucratic bulls*it than what is best for the kid
Holly says
I love your blog, I love your style of writing. I love how your personality comes through in your posts and I LOVE this post!
Kimberly says
So a sandwich full of fresh veggies can’t be claimed? Ugh!
I’d totally yet at them too, but I’m an immature baby like that!
stef says
I hate beaurocracy so much that I don’t even know how to spell it. Rules just to have rules. Or to create jobs. Whatever.
Cory says
I am right there with you! I hate the food program too… until I get the check at the beginning of the month. Hehe. I always wait until the last minute to enter my claim because I hate the web program. I hope they come out with an iPad app soon!
Kristi {at} Live and Love Out Loud says
Do these people even know who they’re dealing with? You’re pretty much world famous! Idiots… Don’t they watch the news?!?
Also, I’m with Erin…you’ve gotta vlog the “you’re fired” thing. And please wear a Donald Trump wig. Thanks! ;)
Helen says
At the last home daycare center I worked at, the owners husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Some days it was just me, and the owners sister in law at the daycare. The food program people would call, and ask their questions, and we would be like “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask her”. Which I’m sure made our daycare look extremely well in their eyes. On the other hand, if you think it would help, I’d be happy to send them a baggie of shredded cheese as well, with a note saying “this is for mamakat”. :)
Russell says
So I can understand most fast food. But I don’t understand take n bake pizza. Ya know how they know how much cheese to put on that pizza? They weigh it.
Also I think you should be able to claim something that people can buy with food stamps, and you can buy take n bake pizza with food stamps.
Also I’m pretty sure Papa Murphy’s should be sponsering this post!
Matty says
Ellen would have this straightened out in no time.
Melissa B. says
Sounds like a bunch of fruity policies to me…
Sarah @ Catching the Magic says
Oh, that’s all so crazy! I’d HATE that too! And probably tell them where to go…
Policy, red-tape and all that makes my skin crawl. Eek!
Brilliant written & good luck!
Paula Kiger says
Oh boy – what a crazy thing! The place I work for is mostly federally funded and sometimes when I read the reams of paper/requirements/etc behind the federal $$ I am truly worried for the future of …… getting anything done in this country! Count me in on the shredded-cheese-out campaign. Sounds like fun!
Frelle says
insane food jeopardy. Im glad to have some insight, but irritated on your behalf!!
Ixy says
Given we have to act like adults all the time and be tactful and diplomatic, there’s something immensely satisfying about telling someone to shove it, no holds barred. LOL this reminds me of one of my favourite movie scenes: “Step into my office. Why? Because you’re f*cking fired!!” (Yes, I am that person who quotes movies…)
I’ve been doing your linky for awhile and it’s one of my favourites. Great prompts!
A Mommy in the City says
Wow! I think some people take their job too seriously.
trash says
Oh it is this very small-minded bureaucracy that made me give up childminding. In the UK the EDUCATION De[partment are responsible for home-based care and they want assessments, observations and plans done for each child in your care up umtil the age of 8!
Teacher Girl says
Oh my goodness! These food people sound just like the people that make educational policy. The people that make educational policies have by and large never been teachers and therefore blindly make decisions about what they “know” is “best” for education. These people sound like they have never spent a day in a daycare in their lives. *hugs*
JDaniel4's Mom says
This doesn’t make sense. They should want you ti feed children healthy foods.
JDaniel4's Mom says
This doesn’t make sense. They should want you to feed children healthy foods.
I typed my first comment to quickly.
reply
Diane@BeStillaMinute says
As my youngest son used to say….”To many wules!”
S Club Mama says
Ugh – that would be so annoying that they tell you one thing and then go against that. Can you complain to a higher up? And you should be able to serve Subway – that’s better than most meals most kids get at home!
Vicarious Chelsea says
Ugh, that’s insane. You should definitely vlog the “firing”!
Peg says
I used to have an in home day care and I always hated having to cow tow to their insame rules that made no sense. Hope things work out for you.
Tina says
Exactly reasons why I don’t participate in the food program. I just take the same rates for every snack and meal at the end of the year via the IRS form as a credit.
Kathleen@so much to say says
Oh, I would be so furious. I’m so sorry!
bcIMthemommy says
The food program covers FROZEN PIZZA? Ahhh!!! So gross. *Reminds me I need to check what my kid’s eating at summer school*
Thanks for the funny this AM! I needed it!
kisatrtle says
Kat, You don’t have to tell me about crazy food guidelines and regulations. Hell I’m a lunch lady. There doesn’t get anything crazier than that. I religiously vent every Friday about just how stupid these regulations are. I mean for some reason a bag of chips, some questionable turkey meat and a 2 oz cup of shredded cheese qualifies as a meal. In my house, those walk-away tacos would qualify as a poor choice in snacking options. Ugh…sorry to hear you were reprimanded.
Helene says
Oh wow, I had no idea it was such a pain in the butt!! I have a friend who runs a home daycare and I remember her complaining about it but she never went into much detail. Now, I can totally understand!!!!
Minivan Mama says
You should join forces with Jamie Oliver and his Food Revolution. I heart him and his cause!
Runnermom-jen says
I’m with you, Kat…sounds like complete nonsense to me.
Kim says
Thanks Kat for writing about your experience of being a home daycare provider! It sure gives us an appreciation of what you do and go through each day. It must take a lot of patience and I applaud you for doing it!!
Cam says
sounds like a bunch of crap to me. you should have shown them the Evening magazine story and told them you are a celebrity and can’t be bothered with such foolishness. next time have them call “your people”! HA!
Bruna says
How sad that they care more about their policies than anything else. It’s a bunch of crap to me. I feel for ya. You tell ’em off Kat!
CaJoh says
Perhaps you can find another food program, then ditch the old one.
Kaye says
what a pain–I’d be venting too.
hilljean says
Frozen pizza. Grossssss. I can just hear that Office Space tone of “Policy.” “Yah. Hmmm. Yah. Policy. Hmmm.”
Jordan says
Please don’t tell me that picture is taken from the view of a camera monitor… are you really being taped?
Are there other food programs you can use? This seems like a pain.
Trish says
Oh good lord! Governmental agencies and their stupid rules can go suck it.
Andrea says
Rules Schmules! LAUSD considers french fries a vegetable for public school children! These people just don’t operate on common sense.
Jen says
Well at least when they are done you can give the kids McDonald’s like the rest of us.
Or just me.
Natalie says
Take & bake pizzas & Subway should def. count.
What is wrong with those people? And why should you distinguish betwen fruit? Fruit is fruit people. Get a grip.
Jenny says
That is insane. I thought we were supposed to be trying to feed the kids fresh food not frozen. Isn’t that what Jamie Oliver says?
thea says
I’m infuriated for you! No idea you would have to go through such hoops and red tape. Food Jeoprady is right!
ElizOF says
The food policy doesn’t sound consistent if different people say different things… Pity really and probably time to move on… :-(
Mama Mary says
God love ya for doing what you do, girl. To add this kinda crap from bureaucracies that you have to deal with on top of all the other *crap* is not cool. Boo on them!
Suzanne McClendon says
Oh, good grief! Our wonderful tax dollars at work, paying for everything except logic. I have some other thoughts, but they aren’t really fit for print, so I’ll leave it at I’m screaming with you!
witchycrazymommy says
Oooops sorry for the double entry, had an error with the first one! Their policies are plain weird, in some countries crickets are considered nutritious, would they allow that?!
Kudos to you! Any kid’s lucky to be in your daycare!
Bankerchick says
Government and red tape. It will never change. I would hate to be scolded by a government wonk!
Court says
I, sadly, work in an office that is dictated by “policy.” Sometimes you really want to say why don’t you shove that “policy” where the sun don’t shine??? Because “policy” completes ignores people.
mom taxi julie says
I work for a totally different department of the USDA and they can’t even keep the same policy for more than a year. Then they want you to go back and fix the last 10 years to the new policy. You get almost done then they change it again.
mom taxi julie says
I guess it’s good job security :)
Shannon says
I am back after a long vacation and a new site. Only you could get me to admit this little known secret and publish part of my work!
Nicole @MTDLBlog says
Wow. Those are some serious hoops to jump through. That would be completely frustrating….I would quit too.
Joy says
ugh this is why I would never let the government in on my daycare! they are crazy people.
Why not just fire them when they call to scold you. then just ask the parents to start sending a lunch box everyday with snacks and lunch in it.
Marcy Massura says
Dude. OPT OUT. Charge your kids more since you are not being reimbursed for meals and be done with it. You are in business for yourself for a reason……
Oh and I always wear my hood up when I chop veggies too. Did that dock you for that too : )
Kandace says
Our daycare got so fed up she quit the program. She decided the amount she was actually able to “claim” was not enough to compensate her to deal with the bureaucrats. One day I came to get the kids she was so mad because the unannounced visit demanded she needed another starch with the nuggets, fruit and carrots she was serving or it wouldn’t count. Absurd, if you ask me.