Writer’s Workshop: In Trouble With The Food Program…Again

I’ve vented before about the food program I belong to as a home daycare provider. It’s a love/hate relationship because while they do give me money…I kind of have to work for it, and they come over unannounced, and I’m usually doing something wrong.

I use the term “wrong” here loosely though because the things I’ve gotten in trouble for are beyond ridiculous. Meals discounted because I marked I fed the kids oranges when the monitor actually observed me giving them apples. You just can’t go recording the wrong fruit and expect to get paid for it.

They’re all about “policy”…so any time you try to argue a point they just kind of shrug their shoulders, “sorry, that’s our policy.”

For example, I can’t purchase “fast food” for the kids and claim it. There’s no reimbursement for fast food. Which is fine because seriously…there’s no real health benefit to most of it. However…what about Subway sandwiches and all of those great veggies? What about a pizza ordered fresh and baked at home?

Hmm-mm. Can’t claim it.

Policy.

But I can buy a cheap, gross, frozen cardboard pizza…sprinkle some extra cheese on it and claim that. It totally counts. However, a take and bake pizza, with ingredients that I guarantee are more fresh and healthier than a frozen pizza does not count.

Why? Because they can’t really be sure of how much cheese is put on a take and bake pizza. There’s no way of measuring that.

Can I sprinkle my own cheese on a take and bake pizza just like I need to on a frozen pizza? No.

Why? Policy.

Needless to say, when I see a food monitor at my front door I turn into a four year old. I don’t like them. I know they’re just doing their jobs, but the policies don’t make sense to me, I feel the food monitors are constantly contradicting themselves, and I find myself wanting to argue with them more than anything.

During the last visit I had I was informed that since I had not claimed ANY meals in the recent days, and since I’ve made it a habit not to claim meals…that I would now be put on probation and am required to claim all meals the very day they were given instead of waiting and claiming them all at once like I typically do.

The reason I have a problem with this is because I was recently told it was okay to a.) not claim days that I don’t get around to claiming or b.) keep a record and claim them all at once when I do get around to it. But now I’m in trouble for it.

Funny how policy shifts once the person in power is uncomfortable with how you’re using it. I was told I didn’t have to claim days if I couldn’t get around to it…now I’m being told that I need to call in when I’m not going to claim meals.

The problem is…I don’t know when I’m going to forget to claim meals before I forget to claim them. And if I’m going to forget to claim a meal (which at one point was fine) how do you suppose I’m going to remember to call you to tell you I’m forgetting?

And really? You want to receive a call from me every single day telling you I’m not claiming meals?

I hate these people. I always get in trouble and I’m far too old for that crap. If I leave the program under these conditions I will be blacklisted from all food programs in our state. They’re hardcore like that. And that makes me hate them more.

I also hate the stupid games they play to try to make learning about USDA Food Regulations fun. I DON’T WANT TO PLAY FOOD JEOPARDY. There. I said it.

I received notification of my “corrective action” exactly a month ago today…and…ahem…still haven’t claimed a meal…or called in to let them know I’m not claiming.

I guess we can see where this is going.

And when they call me to tell me I’m fired from the food program I’m going to cut them off mid sentence and scream NO I FIRE YOU!

And then I’m going to send them some frozen pizza and a baggie of shredded cheese. You know…because I care about their health.

Now it’s your turn!

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) Girls Night Out! Describe the last time you got to hang out with your friends? What stops you from doing this more often?
2.) If Social Media died tomorrow, describe another hobby you might get into.
3.) Share a Summer Camp memory.
4.) We’re too old to be getting in trouble…aren’t we? Write about a time you were scolded…as an adult.
5.) Barefoot and hormonal…describe an incident that upset you when you were pregnant, but now looking back makes you laugh.

6.) Create a video where you share your opinion on monetizing blogs. You are free to talk about whatever this topic inspires in you, but here are some sample questions: Are you willing to work with brands? Is it “selling out”? Can a blogger over do it? Do you have tips to share? A memorable experience working with a brand? etc.

Tagged as: food program, i shouldn't be allowed to blog when I'm in this kind of mood, suck it