I remember throwing garbage on the floor at home. My Mom would see candy wrappers littering the living room floor and have a fit. I’m not sure why walking to the garbage can was such a pain in the neck, but it really was. When I really cared about not upsetting my Mom I’d stuff wrappers in between the cushions on the couch. It would take her longer to stumble upon those and when she did find them would be so long after the fact that really, what could she do about it?
She had little control over this problem because as a single mom she had to leave us to our own devices in order to work. In addition to cooking, lawn maintenance, bills, and keeping children alive, the issue of housekeeping was a battle she fought daily.
If I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it one hundred times, “You kids need to do your part around here! You’re old enough to pick up after yourselves and this garbage you’re leaving on the floor is just plain disgusting! Stop assuming I’m going to swoop in and clean everything up after you and start giving me a hand!!”
My brother finally said what we were all thinking, “If you’re having such a hard time why don’t you just marry someone who can help you?”
I think she was one part stunned/one part disgusted with my brothers suggestion. The rest of us thought it made pretty perfect sense. A new Dad could take some of her responsibilities off her plate and help her with her duties…you know, free her up to clean up our garbage the way she should be doing.
It’s a miracle we weren’t all slapped in that moment…for the suggestion and for the silent agreements. We stared at her patiently waiting for an answer to the question. Instead, she angrily turned to my brother and said, “And WHO do you think is going to step into THAT role? What man on Earth do you think is going to marry a woman with six lazy kids to clean up after? Name ONE person you know who can cook, clean, wash clothes, and keep you living on the pedestal you all are putting yourselves on? Who’s the right man for that job…WHO!?!?!”
She was mad.
Real mad.
Instead of recoiling my brother wanted to provide her with a thoughtful response and he was all “DUH…MR. Belvedere, who else?”
It was one of those smart alec comments that either earns a slap or a laugh.
We held our breath.
She laughed.
Thank God.
And now I’m wondering why I didn’t follow that very sound advice from my eleven year old brother. There’s a whole heck of a lot of laundry waiting to be folded in this house right now. I think Mr. Belvedere and I would have made a lovely couple.
dysfunctional mom says
I think I’d have given your brother a fat lip. But that is hilarious! And now I have the Mr Belvedere song in my head (Have you ever heard Stewie from Family Guy’s version?? HYSTERICAL.)
Mama Kat says
My hat is off to you friend…I can’t even REMEMBER the theme song!
Jill says
I love this! I think I’d have to fight you though yo make him my man!! Lol being a mom now, at least once a week I call and apologize for something I did as a child. :) She giggles every time. She tries to stifle it; but it is all too obvious. I think she partly feels for me, but is also secretly happy I recognize her struggles (& happy I too must endure the cycle), but I think she feels a tad guilty too. If I were her though, I wouldn’t!
Mama Kat says
I always wonder if I’ll feel vindicated or sorry when my kids call me to apologize for their asshattery. Haha! My totally laughs!
Salena Lee @ A Little Piece of Me says
Oh my goodness this his hilarious! I could use Mr. Belvedere now. I can totally relate because my mom was single mom and I was a single mom. I”m married now with more kids though. :)
Ryan (The Woven Moments) says
He cooked. He cleaned.
He provided witty repartee in a British accent. What’s not to love?!?!
adventuresindinner says
I would love a Mr. Belvedere. I have two weeks of my laundry to put away. Apparently, I save mine for last.
June Freaking Cleaver says
Do your brothers who are married do all of the things your brother suggested that a husband should do?
And don’t we have kids so we have personal lackeys? Or is that just me?
OneMommy says
LOL! I totally forgot about that show! Yep, I could use his help around here right about now….
Bossy Betty says
Oh yes. Please send him over.
a Book for My Daughter says
I don’t remember if I left garbage around the house as a child, but I know my room was a disaster and my mom spent a lot of time yelling at the four of us. But I’m sure I did. You’re description “I’m not sure why walking to the garbage can was such a pain in the neck, but it really was” made me immediately think of my own kids. Just yesterday I was yelling at them over the same exact thing. I guess you gave me an answer as to why my children wait for me to clean up after them: It’s just so hard for them to walk to the garbage can! I feel much better now.
Thanks for making me laugh this morning—my house is a mess, and I needed that!
Stefanie says
Do you think he is still available?
Kristen says
Oh, I was laughing out loud on that one! Sounds like you had one hard working mommy who loved you all very much. I love those moments where you don’t know if you should scold or laugh. Laughing is always easier and usually refuses the situation. The hard part for me is regaining enough composure to then teach my girls a lesson. I can’t help but enjoy the way their minds have worked something out.
Susan in the Boonies says
See, and I thought you might be about to give me the solution for why my daughter throws garbage on the floor or hides it under the couch cushions.
I feel so let down….
Kristy @PampersandPinot says
Stuffing wrappers in between cushions in the couch totally sounds like something I would do.
Jennifer says
Pretty sure my brother would have been picking himself up off the floor. It is a good thing your mom was in a good/laughing mood when he said that.
S Club Mama says
wow, I had to look that one up. :S
Lindsey says
Being a single mom myself I know about the immense work. I think I’ll go for the Brawny paper towel guy though. :)
Domesticated Gal says
Here I was all happy in my marriage b/c the Big Man brought home Bubbles for the Little Man (instead of me carting both kids out to the dollar store in search of them)…and then you had to go and remind me that I could have had Mr. Belvidere…
Christi says
That’s funny! I don’t know how your mom did it as a single mom with 6 kids. I was a single mom for 9 years, but I only had one kid at the time. Fortunately, I found a wonderful man! Not quite Mr. Belvedere, but he’s not too shabby…
Marta says
Can I marry Mr. Belvedere too? Do you think he’d be into a whole sister wives thing?
Gabriela - Living La Vida Normal says
Does Mr. Belvedere have a brother? There’s clothes to be folded and put away, dishes to be washed, dinner to be made, errands to run and who’s going to serve me my ice cream?
I love this story!
m says
My mom ended up alone with 6 kids, too. Sure wish she were still here for me to tell her what a great job she did. She’s my shero.
Kisatrtle says
I wonder if he is still single
Ann says
Sounds like your mother was patient and wise….
Kimberly says
I have no idea how your mom made it as a single mother with 6 kids. I was a single mom but with only one child and that was enough to drive me crazy!
I’d love his help now! There’s a pile of laundry and a stack of dishes calling his name!