Dear Ellen,
We all know about the recent tabloid articles where one woman claimed Justin Bieber was the father of her child. It’s downright disgusting what people will do to get the attention and money they think is just floating in celeb pockets. What I find equally despicable is the fact that relatively ANYONE can simply claim to be pregnant with Justin Bieber’s baby and BAM! they’re in the news. Why was the world giving this woman a platform?
If there’s one thing I can’t stand…it’s the people who drag celebrities through the mud for their own benefit.
That’s not what I’m about.
I’m about truth. About being truthful, embracing truth, and leading a truthful life so as to set a positive example for my children.
And this is where you come in Ellen…it’s time for me to be honest…
I’m raising Justin Bieber’s baby.
I’ve been living a lie for so long that now it’s time for me to come clean. The problem is…I’m not POSITIVE this is Justin’s child…there are a couple different potential fathers and here is how I’m hoping you can help me:
(Click here for video).
Thank you Ellen. In advance.
Your friend,
Kat and baby John Doe
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
I loved that! Especially when “John Doe” blurted out his name and said he wasn’t confused!
LOVE this! Poor John Doe is so confused he doesn’t even know his name! I can’t wait for the concert, it’s one for the DVR.
Tracey Chapman…hahahahahahahaha
BWHAHAHAHAH Ya know Toby Keith sings a song called “Who’s your daddy” with a whole different connotation to it however ahem.
Love it! Great idea I hope she goes for it!!
The tears were my favourite.
That poor boy. I look forward to finding out who his daddy is … and to simultaneously taking in some delightful musical entertainment.
Hah! Hah! Must not watch at work ;-)
Hilarious, you did have quite the year, lol!!!
Hilarious – there are no other words!
Brilliant ~ Ellen will love it
~Kim
OMG. The tears just kill me.
Baby John Doe screaming out, “I’m not….” (confused), but getting edited out was my favorite part.
The check’s in the mail, hon. As well as the paternity test.
LOL you crack me up! i think you’ll get a call anytime now!
Do you really produce crocodile tears on cue?? You’re a rare talent, woman.
I was super impressed by that too!
ME TOO! No, not really, that would’ve taken palettes of vodka. I do think you should get some kind of vlog award for the tears, giiirrrlll; I am impressed.
If Ellen doesn’t call you, I’m not watching her show anymore, or today.
Snoop Dog, Boyz 2 Men, Kenny G…you were killing me!! Can you just turn these into 24 min shows without commercials for our viewing pleasure? You have lots of fans…the world is your oyster ;-)
Damn, girl! Crying on camera is hard but then again so is not know who that daddy is.
My thought are with you in this time of need.
BAWHAHAHAHAH…. Love!
Those tears!!! Nice touch.
Poor John Doe. I need to learn how you made those tears show up. I would be able to rule the world with my evil genius + that little ditty.
Tracy Chapman..you are a riot. I love the crying on cue with tears…bahahahahaha.
I cant….my cheeks hurt…so funny! The cheeks on my face btw….
The dramatic pause at the end…and the tears!!! Oh my, the tears!!! You are a riot.
I love Kainoa!
Tracy Chapman!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Poor Kainoa is going to be scarred for life not knowing his real name!!!! :)
Hysterical! Clearly you’ll do anything to get on her show. I’m surprised you’ve gone unnoticed for so long. I personally think she would enjoy your sense of humor. One day…
Oh my goodness….you had me rolling. The tears were my favorite, too. VERY impressive! :)
Literally busted out laughing! Whew, LOVE it! Damn Kid Rock, he played me!
CHEERS!
The tears!!!!! Only you!
DUDE!! I wanted to comment on your Little Mermaid Vlog as i felt like I was looking in the mirror! Do you know how many times I kick out that tune during random moments of the day, in random places?
And now YOU!
You have vloggy proof that, Part Of Your World is embedded in our brains forever!!!
What’s wrong with us?! I loved the added effect with the chopping block!
BLAST!!! Oh no!
I feel the chef’s song in the ending scene coming on……how does it start? Wont be able to concentrate until I sing it….xoxo
Now THAT was funny! Thank you for the comic relief!!!! :)
You are hilarious. Hilarious!!!! Kenny G, Tracey Chapman!!! LOL!
Oh dear, such questions. Such a concert we would see.
You rock. The search is on.
What a year is right! Oh poor baby John Doe, in such denial;)
Tracy Chapman {bwahahahahahaha} And how on earth did you pull off those tears? I’m super impressed.
How did you keep from laughing…….bwahahahahhaha. You are my kind of woman, humor is the key to sanity (or insanity)! your great and a riot to read……
Spending the morning here and wondering, again, why not 700 comments a day?
Hilarious.
absolutely can not stop laughing. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY MOTHER BLOGGIN LIFE!?
I just love you! You’re hilarious!
Hahaha! Your face at the end… no words, hahaha. So glad I found your blog, you’re awesome! :)