Dear Ellen, My Baby’s Daddy

Dear Ellen,

We all know about the recent tabloid articles where one woman claimed Justin Bieber was the father of her child. It’s downright disgusting what people will do to get the attention and money they think is just floating in celeb pockets. What I find equally despicable is the fact that relatively ANYONE can simply claim to be pregnant with Justin Bieber’s baby and BAM! they’re in the news. Why was the world giving this woman a platform?

If there’s one thing I can’t stand…it’s the people who drag celebrities through the mud for their own benefit.

That’s not what I’m about.

I’m about truth. About being truthful, embracing truth, and leading a truthful life so as to set a positive example for my children.

And this is where you come in Ellen…it’s time for me to be honest…

I’m raising Justin Bieber’s baby.

I’ve been living a lie for so long that now it’s time for me to come clean. The problem is…I’m not POSITIVE this is Justin’s child…there are a couple different potential fathers and here is how I’m hoping you can help me:

(Click here for video).

Thank you Ellen. In advance.

Your friend,

Kat and baby John Doe

Comments

  1. says

    LOVE this! Poor John Doe is so confused he doesn’t even know his name! I can’t wait for the concert, it’s one for the DVR.

  2. says

    BWHAHAHAHAH Ya know Toby Keith sings a song called “Who’s your daddy” with a whole different connotation to it however ahem.

  3. says

    ME TOO! No, not really, that would’ve taken palettes of vodka. I do think you should get some kind of vlog award for the tears, giiirrrlll; I am impressed.

    If Ellen doesn’t call you, I’m not watching her show anymore, or today.

  4. says

    Snoop Dog, Boyz 2 Men, Kenny G…you were killing me!! Can you just turn these into 24 min shows without commercials for our viewing pleasure? You have lots of fans…the world is your oyster ;-)

  5. says

    Damn, girl! Crying on camera is hard but then again so is not know who that daddy is.

    My thought are with you in this time of need.

  6. says

    Poor John Doe. I need to learn how you made those tears show up. I would be able to rule the world with my evil genius + that little ditty.

  7. says

    Tracy Chapman!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Poor Kainoa is going to be scarred for life not knowing his real name!!!! :)

  8. says

    Hysterical! Clearly you’ll do anything to get on her show. I’m surprised you’ve gone unnoticed for so long. I personally think she would enjoy your sense of humor. One day…

  9. says

    DUDE!! I wanted to comment on your Little Mermaid Vlog as i felt like I was looking in the mirror! Do you know how many times I kick out that tune during random moments of the day, in random places?

    And now YOU!
    You have vloggy proof that, Part Of Your World is embedded in our brains forever!!!
    What’s wrong with us?! I loved the added effect with the chopping block!
    BLAST!!! Oh no!
    I feel the chef’s song in the ending scene coming on……how does it start? Wont be able to concentrate until I sing it….xoxo

  10. Heather Duncan says

    How did you keep from laughing…….bwahahahahhaha. You are my kind of woman, humor is the key to sanity (or insanity)! your great and a riot to read……

  11. Jodi T. says

    New to your blog…

    Just wanna say… YOU ARE FREAKING HILARIOUS. LOOOOVE the serious pause at the end.

    Keep it up! Ellen is bound to bring on the show one day! :)

  12. Working Hard Mom says

    Are you kidding me….no contact….no show. This just can’t be. She can have kids that sing, like those two girls….omg…tired of them. You are a breath of fresh air. WAKE UP ELLEN…THIS GIRL HAS GOT IT.