If you’re like me than you have NO idea what you could possibly buy your filthy rich friend that he/she doesn’t already have! Well fear no more my fair weathered friend, this is your Holiday gift guide for the filthy rich that will leave your rich friend breathless with gratitude!
1. Exotic Peacock Feather Headdress $2,000
Help your rich friend look as rich on the outside as she feels on the inside with this one of a kind Peacock Headdress. In ancient Egypt, Peacocks are actually a symbol of fame and fortune.* Quite fitting for your rich friend! Snatch yours up today!
2. “Poetry in Motion” $2,800
What ISN’T poetic about this gorgeous masterpiece of a pot bellied pig? Your rich friend will appreciate the life-like qualities in this pig and will display it in her foyer for all to see! “Children are drawn to touch the many rolls that flow from one end of the plump pig to the other.” Need I say more? Don’t miss this steal of a deal!
3. Dragon Pedal Boat $5,000
Your rich friend and her rich son will LOVE paddling about their lake front property in their very own Dragon Pedal Boat! It would be a shame to deny them such fun! Buy one now!
4. Diamond Encrusted Pacifier $17,000
You are going to want to buy your rich friend’s new baby TWO of these diamond encrusted pacifiers just in case one is misplaced. Get them while they’re hot!
5. Shigaraki Pot $30,000
Take one look at this gorgeous pot and just try NOT to buy it for your rich friend! Her flower arrangements will look stunning in this piece and who doesn’t love a great pot!?! Don’t disappoint your friend, Buy it now:
6. Celebrity Hacienda Dog House $30,000
Your rich friend’s dog should be living in style! Don’t let Fido spend one more night in a “shared” home with his owner. He deserves his own place and your rich friend will be pleased to see him gifted with this hacienda! Purchase yours here today!
7. Pirate Ship Playhouse $52,000
Your rich friend will be SO thankful when you give her a place to stick her children all day long! She can finally ignore them guilt-free as they excitedly run amok on their new pirate playhouse! Set sail with yours today!
8. Fused Glass Necklace $100,000
Ummm…HELLO!?! This piece screams “look at me and give me the attention I paid for dammit!“. Heads will turn when your rich friend walks in the room with this eye catching butterfly wrapped around her neck! Find one here while supplies last!
9. Quantum Bed $160,000
You’ll definitely move up in your rich friend’s Living Will when you SAVE HER LIFE by supplying her with a bed that is guaranteed to keep her safe from bio chemical terrorist attacks, natural disasters, and even intruders! Your rich friend can safely call the cops, watch a movie, and log in to her email account from inside her Quantum bed and she will have YOU to thank! What are you waiting for?
10. Two Person Submarine $2,000,000
Your rich friend is DYING to go down under in her brand new personal submarine! Imagine the fun to be had as the two of you explore the ocean floor together. A MUST HAVE for every rich friend! Dive in for yours today!
I imagine you’re feeling pretty relieved right about now. Before you read this article you had NO idea what to buy your rich friend and by now you’ve surely already purchased one or two things. Doesn’t it feel good to mark that off your list of things to do? Way to go!!
And?
You’re welcome.
*I made that up. I don’t know anything about ancient Egypt.
June Freaking Cleaver says
So when can I expect delivery of the playhouse and the dragon paddle boat? My grandkids would love those!
Janmary, N Ireland says
Can I be your friend? But please note I am NOT filthy OR rich!
Jamie Varon says
That fused glass necklace! It’s only $100,000? Awesome. I have to save up for that, because I’ve always wanted an expensive necklace that looks like it was made out of Play Doh.
Ceelo says
I live on less than the diamond-encrusted pacifier costs. My rich friends can buy ME presents, thankyouverymuch! =)
(Which I can trade for something that’s actually useful and hope they never mention it again.)
Thanks for taking the time to compile such a helpful list for them!
Diane@BeStillaMinute says
You cracked me up this morning. I’ll bookmark this page for when I get filthy rich because I’ve got to remember where to get that oh so classy $100,000 butterfly necklace for my mother-in-law and of course, that hacienda dog house for the wieners. They’re going to love that!
And I want the dragon pedal boat all for myself.
Kathy says
Wow I’m happy all my friends are poor!! It’s hard I have a sister that has everything…by the way she is the worse gift giver! Have a wonderful day!
Kasey says
I would love a pirate ship playhouse! If only I was rich, or married rich!
Jen says
I was so freaking out about what to get Kim Kardashian for Christmas. She and I are besties. We don’t talk much or see eye but that’s fine. Now, I know just want to get her. Thank you.
Don’t tell but I think that necklace has her name written all over it. Shhhh.
Amber says
Number 9 reminds me of a fancy coffin…
Wiley says
I might need the pirate ship playhouse….
Katie says
Hilarious. The necklace is killing me.
Jennifer says
You laugh, but when David was first starting out as an electrician he had to go put an A/C unit in a dog house for some rich people. I think it looked like that one in the photo.
Sandy says
Oh my! That bed is like a coffin…
Jennifer says
Ummm… I don’t even know what to say about most of those items. Well,the pirate ship and dragon paddle boat are pretty cool,though!
Paulette says
I my wow! What a list! I think for my that future niece/nephew I will have to buy diamond encrusted pacifier. Yep.
Seriously…LOL! Thanks for saving me from having to look at something like the Nemian Marcus catalog.
The Sweetest says
Omg, you’ve been reading the Neiman’s catalog again, haven’t you?
Corinne says
I don’t even know what to say. :) funny stuff
Shell says
When I saw that necklace on your post on facebook, I thought it was made of playdoh.
I kinda wish someone would buy my kids a pirate ship like that. B/c it would really help me to feel better about neglecting them. :)
Laci says
I would gladly accept the pirate ship playhouse for the kids or the dog house for my Parker. But to be honest, I’d accept any of them. Think about it you could turn around and sell whatever it is and make some cash or re-gift and be a super hero.
Marta says
Dammit Kat, I had already purchased you the diamond encrusted pacifier for your future fourth child and then you go and make fun of me about it! Looks like I’ll be returning it.
Kristy @PampersandPinot says
Hot damn I want that peacock head dress. If only…
Tonya says
I SO have that peacock feather headdress on my wish list.
These are stupid.
Katie says
I am stunned. I’ll get the pacifyer for the new grandson
LB says
Holy heck! I totally NEED that pirate ship playhouse! Now, to find $52K in the seat cushions…hmmm.
Dionne Adkison says
I am so getting the diamond pacifier and of course I can so afford the pirate ship playhouse for my kids (dripping in sarcasm and crap)…cause we are on a teacher’s salary!!! Your post is hilarious!
Adrienne says
LOL!!! That bed is too crazy. That craziest part is that there are people somewhere who own at least one of these items.
mom taxi julie says
I think it’s disgusting that anyone would spend so much money on any of those things. Well except maybe the dragon boat ;)