Me: Ugh. I feel like I’m getting sick…I feel like someone is sitting on my chest…
Pat: I’ve had that cough forever.
Me: Really? It’s awful.
Pat: Yeah, I’ve had it for months now…now it’s just like a cough now and again for no reason at all. But it’s still there.
Me: Whatever…you are incapable of letting me have a sick day, you know that? Any time I say I’m sick, you’re suddenly experiencing the exact same symptoms and the man cold trumps all.
Pat: What’s a man cold?
Me: You don’t know what a man cold is?
Me: I thought everyone knew! It’s a cold only men get because men are giant babies. You hang on to colds forever because you’re a baby.
Pat: That’s ridiculous.
Me: Are you really trying to tell me you’ve had a cough for MONTHS?
Me: Yeah right. You’re just being a baby. I say I’m not feeling well and you just can’t give me a little sympathy over here. No, instead you start feeling your forehead, “Kat do I feel hot to you?” and then you stay home sick for a week. Just hanging out in bed with your laptop, sniffling loudly every time I come into the room…months? Give me a break, you’re fine! Now comfort me.
Pat: How’s your cough?
Me: Terrible…it’s been hanging on for months! I guess you weren’t exaggerating after all.
Reasons I Love My Husband:
Reasons I Love My Husband:
1.)He brings me warm bottles to give to the baby in the middle of the night when I am cussing him out in my head.
2.)He ignores my juvenile behavior and patiently waits for me to get over myself and discuss our finances like an adult.
4.)He sat at the door of the operating room, after I was rushed in following an emergency c-section, waiting for word of my condition…for six hours.
5.)He drives 45 minutes out of his way to go get me sushi on Friday night because I’m hungry and moody and tired and he wants me to be happy.
6.)He says things like, “Kat. Who are the most important people in your life? We are all here. We all love you. We’re not going anywhere. Just remember that.” and makes me feel better when things start getting to me.
7.)He takes time away from HIS job and comes home on a moments notice to help ME with MY job.
8.) When I’ve had a tough day with the kids he lets me talk it out until I run out of gas and then suggests we send them to a different daycare.
13.)He doesn’t take sides when I tell him to whack our son for an entire day of horrid behavior but instead delicately puts his hand on our baby boy’s head and turns to me to say, “My God Kat, he’s burning up!!” and then asks me to fetch the motrin.
17.) He reminds me of our anniversary when our anniversary is nearly over and doesn’t hate me for forgetting even though I kind of hate him a little for not bringing me diamonds when he was the one who remembered.
20.) He let’s me rip on him about his man colds and even though I’ve got one of my own.