Me: Ugh. I feel like I’m getting sick…I feel like someone is sitting on my chest…
Pat: I’ve had that cough forever.
Me: Really? It’s awful.
Pat: Yeah, I’ve had it for months now…now it’s just like a cough now and again for no reason at all. But it’s still there.
Me: Whatever…you are incapable of letting me have a sick day, you know that? Any time I say I’m sick, you’re suddenly experiencing the exact same symptoms and the man cold trumps all.
Pat: What’s a man cold?
Me: You don’t know what a man cold is?
Pat: No.
Me: I thought everyone knew! It’s a cold only men get because men are giant babies. You hang on to colds forever because you’re a baby.
Pat: That’s ridiculous.
Me: Are you really trying to tell me you’ve had a cough for MONTHS?
Pat: Yeah
Me: Yeah right. You’re just being a baby. I say I’m not feeling well and you just can’t give me a little sympathy over here. No, instead you start feeling your forehead, “Kat do I feel hot to you?” and then you stay home sick for a week. Just hanging out in bed with your laptop, sniffling loudly every time I come into the room…months? Give me a break, you’re fine! Now comfort me.
…months later…
Pat: How’s your cough?
Me: Terrible…it’s been hanging on for months! I guess you weren’t exaggerating after all.
My bad.
Reasons I Love My Husband:
Reasons I Love My Husband:
1.)He brings me warm bottles to give to the baby in the middle of the night when I am cussing him out in my head.
2.)He ignores my juvenile behavior and patiently waits for me to get over myself and discuss our finances like an adult.
3.)He sits back until I give him the “look” and then he swoops in and rescues me from a sure death of toddler suffocation.
4.)He sat at the door of the operating room, after I was rushed in following an emergency c-section, waiting for word of my condition…for six hours.
5.)He drives 45 minutes out of his way to go get me sushi on Friday night because I’m hungry and moody and tired and he wants me to be happy.
6.)He says things like, “Kat. Who are the most important people in your life? We are all here. We all love you. We’re not going anywhere. Just remember that.” and makes me feel better when things start getting to me.
7.)He takes time away from HIS job and comes home on a moments notice to help ME with MY job.
8.) When I’ve had a tough day with the kids he lets me talk it out until I run out of gas and then suggests we send them to a different daycare.
9.) He wears my pink polk-a-dotted apron without so much as a blink when I want to take a picture of him for The Blog.
10.)He will never leave me for Kathy Lee Gifford because he thinks she’s outdated and fears for his life.
11.) He supports my shopping habit and watches the children as I single handedly delay our family’s future for a few cute tops…ok a lot of cute tops…and some shoes…maybe a clutch.
12.) He’s one of those smarty pants people who is not on the up and up with hidden messages and does not care about superficial stuff…including the condition of my hair, windblown or not.
13.)He doesn’t take sides when I tell him to whack our son for an entire day of horrid behavior but instead delicately puts his hand on our baby boy’s head and turns to me to say, “My God Kat, he’s burning up!!” and then asks me to fetch the motrin.
15.) He buys me stuff to keep me from breaking his stuff.
16.) He writes me poems telling me he doesn’t want any more babies, but at least he’s being nice about it.
18.) He puts thought into buying me the most ridiculous Christmas present I could never ask for.
19.) He doesn’t bring home yellow apples.
20.) He let’s me rip on him about his man colds and even though I’ve got one of my own.
Kathy says
He is pretty awesome! My hubby learned last year what a man cold is he had never heard of it….whatever he is the worst sick person ever!
Arnebya @whatnowandwhy says
I’m giggling at both of you! You for not knowing that the consumption (what I call the cough that my whole family has had off and on for MONTHS now) could linger that long and him not knowing about the man cold. The man cold that gets my husband every couple of years knocks him down and out. Baby. Since he rarely gets sick it surprises him each time and holy crap is it funny to see him trying to unbaby himself, to actually act normally in the midst of the cold from hell.
Twisted Domestic Goddess says
Sounds exactly like my boyfriend. I say my belly is hurting from growing and he suddenly is dying….
jessica@domesticated-bliss says
Oh the man cold. It is a real thing even if in this one instance it wasn’t lol! You have a good man though – it’s always good to recall why we love them :)
MaryLauren@My3LittleBirds says
You’ve got a good one! (And so does he.)
Jen says
Oh that man cold… the only thing worse is a man child cold.
God save us all.
Joanne says
This reminds me of when I was pregnant with my daughter. Every time I would say, “Oh my gosh I am so nauseous!”, my mother would reply,
” And so am I!” and if I complained about being tired, so would she. I thought she was either stealing my thunder or having sympathy pregnancy symptoms. Turns out she had a serious internal infection and didn’t know it. When I was at one hospital giving birth, she was at another nearby getting treated. Oops! (I think there is a post in this.)
Susi says
Do I know the man cold. My husband is exactly the same way. If I ever feel under the weather he feels ten times worse… I always call him my 4th child!!!! :)
Jennifer says
David is like Pat. He has to be pretty much dying before he will go to the doctor. Of course when I catch it a week later he had it much worse than I did. No. I just went to the doctor before it became that bad.
Scarlett says
Dear Mama Kat,
I suck.
You made me laugh out loud today. I look forward to your posts in my inbox, and laugh ALL THE TIME! But Today, you made me laugh out loud, because… you reminded me that I truly suck. Thanks. Really.
I’ve been sick for over a month with God Knows What! I mean, today… day 9 of 12 on this damn steroid… I feel like I could, most literally, kill (slight exaggeration). You could cut the anxiety I’m feeling with a dull spoon, I am so riddled with it. And yet, my husband… my sweet, dedicated husband still loves me, and brings me food, and my slippers, and my clean underwear from downstairs, and a drink from the bathroom, and…, and says, “Of course, I will add THAT to my growing list because you STILL don’t feel good.”
My husband and your husband must be cut from the same cloth. As awesomely appreciative as I am for that, I am more so that I have you to commiserate with for my own freaky self.
A ((hug)) from me to You. And a HIGH FIVE for our awesomeness that attracted awesomeness… somehow. Feel better. I’ll try to do the same.
Mary says
I love that you too know about “man colds.” That’s what my husband gets, for sure. But I will admit that he married a woman whose own mother thought getting sick was a flaw in one’s character. So trying to get me to sympathize is one giant mistake. Although I’m learning, I hope.
meleah rebeccah says
I am laughing at the both of you!
Susan in the Boonies says
You OBVIOUSLY have a keeper.
And I’m sorry that you’re feeling punk.
(Does punk mind?)
lisleman says
but does he read your blog?
Denise says
He’s a keeper. Even with his Man Cold.
Kara says
Yes, yes, and yes. Men are great – man colds and all. I think I need to keep a list like this to remind me of why I love my hubbers. It’s just so hard to remember when I focus on how incredible I am. Also, # 13 made me lose my mind with laughter. Hope you wake up tomorrow feeling all happy and shiny.