2.) Write about a time you were pretending to be someone you aren’t.
My Mom, my sister, and step-dad were all real estate agents. There was a lot of eye rolling going on at the dinner table between my younger brother and sister whenever the conversation made a turn in the direction of listings, loans, and disappointing deals that fell through at the last minute.
My siblings and I had no choice but to sit there and absorb the real estate talk as we pushed kernels of corn around our plates.
We knew every agents first and last names. We knew when home tour was, we knew which nights they had mandatory floor time, and we knew to shut up in the car should a client happen to call with a question.
In fact, my little sister and I each spent time answering phones at the office so we became even more so familiar with real estate jargon and etiquette. It wasn’t long before we became mini assistants for the agents in our home.
One particular day I was given a task to drop off flyers to my Mom who was holding an open house. When I arrived, she was walking a nice couple from the living room to the deck, “and you can see it overlooks the entire sound! It’s within walking distance to some of the city’s most popular attractions! They repainted just six months ago and the deck here is good as new!” The couple was excited. This was exactly what they were looking for.
As they moved back into the house and up the stairs to gaze at the exact same view from a different window I decided to make friends with the giant deli hoagie my Mom had brought to feed any potential clients and/or their agents as they swung through house.
I set the flyers on the dining room table when an agent suddenly waltzed into the house. I glanced around for my Mom who by the sound of it, was testing sink faucets in the master bedroom. The agent tossed his card on the table and walked straight passed me to the living room, “What a marvelous view!!”
I swallowed hard.
“Yes” I said, “it uhhh…you’ll see it overlooks the entire sound and…is within walking distance to some of the city’s most popular attractions.”
My face turned bright red. Why didn’t I just tell him I WASN’T the agent and that I was dropping off flyers and that my Mom was upstairs? It was too late now, I had to go with it and continue to pretend to be the agent I wasn’t.
He smiled, “The deck looks amazing!”
Ahem. “They uhh repainted the deck…just six months ago…it’s as good as new! ”
I ducked into the kitchen and prayed he would just mosey right back on out before my Mom came downstairs. I grabbed a plate and cut myself a piece of the hoagie sitting on the counter, but turned to find the agent at my side, his hands out to receive my sandwich, “Why thank you I’m starving!”
I hesitated before slowly handing him my plate, “Yes of course” I said, “enjoy….”
And with that he stuffed my nicely cut sandwich into his giant mouth and left the house.
My job there was done.
I’m pleased to say I never again pretended to be a real estate agent. I wonder if the sandwich I cut for myself tasted as good as it looked.
And also? In my Abercrombie jeans and Gap hoodie…I’m pretty sure I was the saddest dressed real estate agent in the country. No wonder he just ate and ran off without stopping to gaze at the exact same view from a different window in the house like the other couple had.
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2.) Write about a time you pretended to be someone you aren’t.
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4.) Instagram fun! Share a photo you took with Instagram this week and tell us what you love about it.
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