2.) Write about a time you were pretending to be someone you aren’t.
My Mom, my sister, and step-dad were all real estate agents. There was a lot of eye rolling going on at the dinner table between my younger brother and sister whenever the conversation made a turn in the direction of listings, loans, and disappointing deals that fell through at the last minute.
My siblings and I had no choice but to sit there and absorb the real estate talk as we pushed kernels of corn around our plates.
We knew every agents first and last names. We knew when home tour was, we knew which nights they had mandatory floor time, and we knew to shut up in the car should a client happen to call with a question.
In fact, my little sister and I each spent time answering phones at the office so we became even more so familiar with real estate jargon and etiquette. It wasn’t long before we became mini assistants for the agents in our home.
One particular day I was given a task to drop off flyers to my Mom who was holding an open house. When I arrived, she was walking a nice couple from the living room to the deck, “and you can see it overlooks the entire sound! It’s within walking distance to some of the city’s most popular attractions! They repainted just six months ago and the deck here is good as new!” The couple was excited. This was exactly what they were looking for.
As they moved back into the house and up the stairs to gaze at the exact same view from a different window I decided to make friends with the giant deli hoagie my Mom had brought to feed any potential clients and/or their agents as they swung through house.
I set the flyers on the dining room table when an agent suddenly waltzed into the house. I glanced around for my Mom who by the sound of it, was testing sink faucets in the master bedroom. The agent tossed his card on the table and walked straight passed me to the living room, “What a marvelous view!!”
I swallowed hard.
“Yes” I said, “it uhhh…you’ll see it overlooks the entire sound and…is within walking distance to some of the city’s most popular attractions.”
My face turned bright red. Why didn’t I just tell him I WASN’T the agent and that I was dropping off flyers and that my Mom was upstairs? It was too late now, I had to go with it and continue to pretend to be the agent I wasn’t.
He smiled, “The deck looks amazing!”
Ahem. “They uhh repainted the deck…just six months ago…it’s as good as new! ”
I ducked into the kitchen and prayed he would just mosey right back on out before my Mom came downstairs. I grabbed a plate and cut myself a piece of the hoagie sitting on the counter, but turned to find the agent at my side, his hands out to receive my sandwich, “Why thank you I’m starving!”
I hesitated before slowly handing him my plate, “Yes of course” I said, “enjoy….”
And with that he stuffed my nicely cut sandwich into his giant mouth and left the house.
My job there was done.
I’m pleased to say I never again pretended to be a real estate agent. I wonder if the sandwich I cut for myself tasted as good as it looked.
And also? In my Abercrombie jeans and Gap hoodie…I’m pretty sure I was the saddest dressed real estate agent in the country. No wonder he just ate and ran off without stopping to gaze at the exact same view from a different window in the house like the other couple had.
Delilah says
Haha! Well if you ever decide to switch careers….there you go!
Lady Estrogen says
Something to consider? Well, maybe next time with a pencil skirt ;0
I enjoyed this one, Mama. Yay!
MJ says
How old were you? That’s pretty funny! I felt embarrassed for you.
Aimee says
Okay, that is FUNNY. And awkward.
A view of the sound? Nice. I’d like in on that action.
(Somehow, I ended up linking twice. Total accident — I’m not really that needy, I promise. Apologies…)
Karen and Gerard says
I always thought that would be a fun career except for the paperwork part. Maybe I could just be an assistant like you and show the houses?
Teacher Girl says
This was quite funny! Did you ever tell your mom what happened?
Susan in the Boonies says
I can’t believe Dude just waltzed off with your sandwich.
He was taking advantage of the Newb who didn’t know better than to wear a Gap hoodie to show houses.
Underneath it all?
Men just want us to make them a sammich.
gin says
This makes me think about when I was young trying to act like I knew what section 8 was and failing miserably…and it sounds like the outfit of our youth was quite similar. I wore AE jeans and a CU hoodie. Ah, those were the days!
Diane@BeStillaMinute says
Ha! I can’t believe he took your sandwich! And I have to know, did you ever find out if he bought the house or not?
Ducky says
At least you know you could do it! Haaaaa! Those split second off the cuff decisions that leave us wondering “Why the hell did I do/say that?!”. You certainly aren’t alone!!
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery! :)
Dianna says
Funny story! I don’t know that I could have pulled that off!
Sorta Southern Single Mom says
Too funny! My dad was a teacher… I guess in theory I pretend to be him every day :-)
Jennifer says
If that man were anything like me, he might have liked the house based completely on the taste of the sandwich. Bake me a plate of cookies, and I’ll like whatever you’re showing me!
Life in Lusaka says
Did you get a commission?
Paula Kiger says
Great story!!
{Adventuresindinner} says
Hah! Hah! That was great. Just imagine if you’d made the sale! This group of prompts were my favourite yet C:
Julia says
So funny, both of my parents are real estate agents so my brother and I clocked many hours at open houses, and driving by new listings. Oddly neither of us decided to become agents ourselves, I wonder why? Lol.
Carrie says
But how cool would it have been if THAT had led to a sale? Rookie wins one for the team ;)
Kara says
I have always wanted to fake being a house hunter and look at houses that I could never afford. Maybe you could be my fake real estate agent?
Also, I am so sorry that I linked not once but a very special three times. I had no idea I was doing that. Nor can I figure out how to get the extras off. I’m just that kind of special.
Lydia says
I love your blog, your videos, and your site. Thanks for sharing.
Angel says
OK first of all how asinine of him to just assume because you are there that you are an agent.. but I would have cracked up had he approached me and said ‘seriously??”. I am glad you chose blogger you are too fun to be a real estate agent
Jen says
Ok, Kat, I am a major dork – I linked up like 5 times, and I can’t figure out how to delete the multiple ones, so feel free to delete for me! (First time Linky Tools user – can you tell?)
Your story is great! You always make me laugh!
OneMommy says
Sorry you didn’t get your sandwich!
Natalie says
Talk about awkward! I needed the laugh – thanks ;)
Kaye says
sounds like you could have made a career of it. I think it is so funny he ate your sandwich. kaye—the road goes ever ever on
Angie says
You should have pretended you were the homeowner and told him to get his own damn sandwich :)
Andrea says
Well let’s hope that other couple really loved the house! And not to worry. The agent that represented our current house looked like he rolled out of bed and into work everyday. So your attire had him beat hands down!
Sarah Ruth says
That’s so funny!! My parents were real estate agents too so I know all about what you went through. My sister and I know all about real estate, mass mailings, open houses, etc. Hehe.
Susi says
That’s too funny. I know what you mean by being quiet when a call comes in. My kids have it down pat… the hubby is in real estate right now and my dad used to be. I would have been slightly miffed that he ate your sandwhich. Goota love it!!! :)
Marta says
Lol, well now you have a career you can fall back. Deli counter salesman :-)
Robin | Farewell, Stranger says
Too funny. I can totally see you doing that.
For a minute there I thought you were going to say you played another interested buyer to put pressure on the couple to buy the house. I can see you pulling that off too.
Jamie says
Sounds like you have got a great fall back career. I could so not be a success real estate agent. I couldn’t sell anything….well.
Shell says
Ha! I would have asked for my sandwich back. I get cranky w/o food.
I love your prompts this week. I just now opened the email with them in it or I would have joined in. It’s been one of those weeks where I’m late for everything!
Patrice P says
So glad you’re back in business after your computer problems! I’ve often fantasized about being a real estate agent…LOL!
Maggie S. says
What if he wasn’t an agent either, maybe he was just stopping by for the sandwich?
Lisa ~ AutismWonderland says
Why would he take your sandwich?
Taylor says
Hah, that was funny! I’d also like to know what your mom said when she found out.