2.) Share a lesson you learned from your Mother that still sticks with you to this day.
I was fifteen and listening in on the 5′oclock news my Mom had on in the kitchen while I set the table for dinner. The top story was about a woman who had forgotten her small child in her car. It was out of her normal routine to have the baby with her and, distracted by work, she simply forgot to drop the child off at daycare. She spent the entire day at work before returning to her car to find her child has passed on.
It was awful and I reacted as the news show had conditioned me to react. I tsked the woman and her thoughtless behavior. How do you forget your own child? Clearly this woman loved her job more than she loved her precious baby! I expected my Mom to chime in and agree with me. After all, she had managed to raise me and my brothers and sisters with nary a car forgetting incident.
Instead, she sighed and recited a line I’d heard her say many times, “…but for the grace of God go I.”
Instead of condemning this woman as I had, she showed compassion.
She talked about how we push ourselves to be too many things…to do everything…to be in too many places. She’d been that woman late for work, paperwork a mile high waiting to be tackled, deadlines, meetings, important calls. She talked about how your mind processes it all and loses focus. How many times have we traveled from one stop light to the next and not even really remembered that drive?
It’s so easy to puff your chest and describe what you would have done. The right way you would have reacted. How something you see happening to other people could never happen to you. An arrogant assumption.
My Mom challenged me to humble myself. To see how easy it is for something as simple and silly as human error to result in something catastrophic.
And that none of us are ever immune to making such mistakes.
Her compassion taught me to always consider every side and to not be so quick to judge. It also made me extremely thankful to have her on my team, knowing whatever mistakes I make in my life, that she will be there to understand them and support me.
Today I am the Mom who gets it. Hoping to raise my kids to be compassionate and humble as I navigate them through the same tricky waters. Clenching the sides of my boat and praying to God I can get my cargo to shore safely as boats around us flip.
How easily it could be us.
Now it’s your turn!
Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!
The Prompts:
1.) Happy almost Mother’s Day! Share a parenting moment where you really began to realize what this mothering thing is all about.
2.) Share a lesson you learned from your Mother that still sticks with you to this day.
3.) Write a poem that expresses how you feel about any day of the week.
4.) List your top 10 favorite things about summer growing up.
5.) You have a 3 day weekend to do anything you want with your family…money is not a factor, BUT you must stay in your own state. What would you do?
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
My mom taught us to be compassionate, too, and to own up to our mistakes. Glad you have a wonderful mom!
Great article. I can so relate to this. Your parents should be adored as much as your children. Im lucky I have a great mom to adore. I always say that if I had half of her mommyskills I would be working with something awesome. With mother’s day around the corner its a great reminder that for better of for worse, none of us amazing moms would be here without our moms
Such a very wise lesson to learn and to teach.
What a wonderful mom! I love how she handled this!
Your mother sounds like a very wise and strong woman. It’s hard when you hear a story like that not to judge the person and declare what you would’ve done differently. I enjoyed reading this post, and the picture you’ve included is precious!
Great post! It sounds like your mom had a way of teaching life lessons gently instead of trying to hammer them into you. What a great gift she has given you.
Oh man every time I hear a story like that my heart stops and climbs into my throat choking me for a few minutes. Because it was such an easy mistake to make and I feel I’m teetering on the brink of simply made catastrophe many times during this task of motherhood. Your mom is wise. And so are you because of her. Hind site is 20/20 but we never get that luxury before the fact.
Compassion and the ability to see both sides with open eyes and hearts. A tragic story too often replayed with our busy lives.
Wonderful post! You are so right (as is your mom). It is easy to sit back and point fingers and articulate how we would do better but in the long run, we can only do the best we can. We are all stretched to our limits sometimes, it’s just by the grace of God that most of us aren’t pushed over the edge. Your mom is a wise woman!
Your mom sounds like a truly wise woman and she obviously taught you well. I hope I’m teaching my children to use compassion above all else and to be humble always. Those are lessons that will serve them well forever.
What a great lesson she taught you; we should all learn to be humble. New to the meme; linked up!
I really believe compassion for others is one of the most important things we can teach our children. How great and wise of your mother!
What a beautiful and valuable lesson your mother taught. Motherhood is so very hard and we have so much going on and yet we judge each other incessantly. Your mother was so very wise!
You have been blessed with a wonderful mom. She did teach you a valuable lesson that can be used so many ways. She is a gift. :)
I remember hearing about that too, and I also felt compassion for the parents. I couldn’t imagine how I could ever live with myself after something like that. It’s horrible enough to lose a child, but for it to be because of your own mistake – that’s just something I don’t think I could bear.
What a beautiful post. It actually made me cry because time again I have spoken those words, “But for the grace of God go I” in front of my children. I learned this partially from my mom and other elder mom’s around me. Now 5 of those children are adults themselves and they are compassionate people.
What a valuable lesson you learned from your mom and can pass on to your own children. Happy Mothers Day to you and your mom!
Such a wonderful post. Such a wonderful mom as well :) Thank you for sharing.
Love this! What a great lesson she taught!
Very wise words from your mom. It must be wonderful to know that no matter what happens, you’ll always have her unwavering support and lack of judgement.
You’re mother is a very wise woman. It’s so easy to get caught up in the media frenzy. Thanks for the reminder that we’re all just people, and fallen ones at that.
Nothing like talking about our mothers to pull on the heart strings. I needed the tear jerker today. Your mother and mine sound very much alike.
Happy Mother’s Day, Kat! (To you and your fabulous mother!)
It’s so easy to judge others and make assumptions. I always say “What do you think they say about me/us?”. I try not to judge too quickly or harshly and I don’t always succeed. It’s one of the things I always try to remember and work on. Thanks for sharing.
Your mother gave you a great gift in this lesson. Not only the capacity to forgive others, but with this level of compassion to forgive your own shortcomings as well. Sometimes those are the hardest to forgive.
An outstanding lesson that I was also taught. “Judge not lest ye be judged.” I’ve often learned that the hard was through instant karma, where no sooner are the words (or thoughts) out in the Universe than I am presented with a similar challenge in my own life. “But for the grace of God…” I could have ended up in many a difficult situation. Your was a wise mom.
refreshing to hear someone address such a dreadful situation with that degree of understanding and compassion. It is so much easier to judge than to try to understand. Your mom sounds wonderful!
Those stories are so very horrible. How can you criminally punish a woman who has to live with that the rest of her life? I too remember moments that an elder correctly my young puffed-up naivete. Now I think how right they were. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mother on Sunday.
So very true! Let him who is without sin cast the first stone…this was a good reminder for all of us. I loved your approach with this prompt–your mama sounds like a very wise, humble lady. Happy Mother’s Day!!!
A lesson for all of us! kaye—the road goes ever ever on Have a happy Mother’s Day.
Wonderful post!! Your mother was a very wise woman. One that we should all strive to be more like. Happy Mother’s Day to you!
My friend was going out of town for a conference and her husband was taking the baby to daycare, which was not the normal routine. He tied a baby sock to his steering wheel because he didn’t want to forget her in the car. That was when I realized that anyone can make a parenting mistake and that judging others harshly is really just stupid. I’m glad you have a mom that taught you that lesson at a younger age.
What a wonderful post. I always try to get the full story and try not to judge. We can never know what it would be like until we were in their shoes.
Tragedy and something that mother will live with for the rest of her days. Humbleness and gratefulness go hand and hand. We are grateful for all the shoulda coulda wouldas that didn’t happen.
I have always felt the same as your mother when I hear those news headlines; you know those mothers must be tortured for the rest of their lives.
A lovely lesson, one that we all should remember more often. Humility is such a hard thing to teach!
It’s so easy to think oh, I’d never do that. But we all make mistakes. When my youngest was still just two, I locked him out of our house… and he was probably outside freaking out for 15-20 minutes or so before I noticed- b/c I hadn’t seen him go outside when I did, so I thought he was up playing in his room, and I was furiously working away, trying to meet a deadline… and then I realized he wasn’t inside. Anything could have happened to him in that time. At another point in time, I probably would have judged someone in my position and thought how didn’t you realize your toddler was OUTSIDE ALONE? But, it happened to me.
Amen mama Kat!! you are right and this is the reminder we need. It is something to hear stories and think to yourself…how could they??…but then you remember…what if?? And thank God for the fact that you haven’t had to to go down that road. Isn’t it much better to have compassion than judge? Thanks for the reminder!!
I saw this woman on a talk show some time ago. I’m so glad your Mother took the side of compassion. It’s so easy sometimes to just follow the judgment the media wants us to take.
For a very long time, I’ve considered participating here. Not sure why I haven’t, but I’m so glad I finally did. Thank you for hosting this. Hope to keep coming back.
I thought the same thing when i saw this woman on OPRAH. HOW? How do you forget your child?
And then it happened to me. My baby was sixteen days old, my oldest was starting kinder and we were selling the house. I left her in the car! It was only five minutes, but it was HOT outside and… well she’s ok but Oh God I could not believe it! I started to write a post about it but couldn’t even finish it!
Amen!!! My grandma says that to this day. I’m thankful she’s lived long so I could hear it a few extra times.
This anecdote moved me a lot. Thanks for the perspective.
This post stuck with me! I referenced it today as I wrote about judgement… http://www.myhomemadehappiness.com/2012/05/other-side-of-judgment.html