Today we’re going to learn how to spot a crazy person and stay the heck away from them, because however wronged you ever feel after an interaction with one of these people there is absolutely nothing you can do to get even.
A crazy person will always feel comfortable taking things a notch further than you would think possible. You will never win in a match of getting even with a crazy person because crazy people have no limits and will do anything to win that match.
They are out of their damn minds.
So who ARE the crazy people?:
- A crazy person is that person in your life who you can KIND OF imagine burning your house down. “Our HOUSE BURNED DOWN!?!?! It was Uncle STUART!?! My God, who let him out of his house alone!?!”
- A crazy person is the person you can KIND OF see punching your mother in the face if your mother’s face was within punching distance. “What happened to Mom’s eye?? She got too close to Cousin Brian while playing croquet in Grandma’s backyard? When will she ever learn?”
- A crazy person gets belligerently drunk at your wedding and dances seductively with each of your sisters, never taking his eyes from their chests. And nobody knows who he was. “He’s not from MY side…I thought he was from YOUR side!”
- A crazy person delivers milk for a living and talks at your dog through the window when he drops it off. Coochie Coochie Coo!!
- A crazy person is the person on the freeway who follows you into your neighborhood after you ACCIDENTALLY cut them off…orrrrr that’s your neighbor and things are a little awkward now.
- A crazy person is the neighbor who shows up at your front door ranting about your cat “sheeting in his yard”. A week later your cat goes missing…you don’t think??? I mean he wouldn’t have. Right?
- A crazy person is a two year old who screams about wanting to go outside, but then screams once outside because he wants in, and then screams once inside because you should know he still wanted to stay out even though he said in, but DON’T put him OUT again!
- A crazy person is any reality show housewife featured on Bravo.
- A crazy person can occasionally be a husband who visits garage sales on weekends and comes home with pogo sticks and used cabbage patch kids that smell like eggs. Someone else’s eggs.
- A crazy person is any person who might get offended by this post because either a.) They can relate or b.) they feel they were misrepresented.
We’ve all had our fair share of run-ins with people who have lost their marbles…what did I miss?
What kind of crazy have you been hanging with lately?