1. The Time Magazine Cover
Shocking yes. But is it news? We all know women who breastfeed for extended periods. We all know women who prefer attachment parenting. We all know we don’t have anything to prove as mothers. Everyone take a deep breath and congratulate Time Magazine for puppeteering the internet frenzy it set out to create. High fives. Can we move on to the next ‘offensive’ cover please?
2. Mommy Wars
Breast vs. bottle, work vs stay at home, home baked cookies vs store bought…do people really care how you’re choosing to raise your kids? If you’re not beating your children then I really don’t care what your personal choices are. I’m thrilled that moms choose to work because I’d be out of a job as a daycare provider if they all stayed home. I’m thrilled for any baby that is being fed and in a way that is helping him or her gain weight and thrive and not die. As far as cookies go? Yes please.
3. Your Trip
If I see one more photo of your sangria at the beach, your nicely manicured toes while you sun bathe in a lounge chair in front of an infinity pool over looking the ocean, your boating excursion off the coast of Antigua…I just might jump through the computer and steal your life. You’ve been warned. It’s only okay when I do it.
4. John Travolta’s sexual desires
When I stayed at the Manele Bay in Hawaii with my husband one year (God bless the family discount), the good man showing us to our room told us John Travolta had a girlfriend in Maui and that they often stayed at that hotel together. And I was all, “John Travolta is MARRIED!” and he was all “He is?? Oh…well he definitely has a girlfriend on Maui…” and ever since then…no matter how many times he has appeared dancing and clinking glasses with Oprah on her birthday…I have never trusted that man. That being said, if coming on to masseuses is your thing? Good for you. I’m not really sure why it’s the rest of the world’s business. Nobody seems to care when *I* do it.
5. The Kardashians
You know, I actually DON’T hate this family. I don’t know why the world gets its panties in a bunch over celebrities the world doesn’t know. Okay so you don’t like that this family managed to become celebrities without actually doing anything…aside from a sex tape. Now what? And what about all those celebrities that got famous for doing something, but are equally obnoxious…like Screech? He also made a sex tape by the way. Why don’t we go on and on about how much we hate him for a change?
6. Depressing News Stories On Facebook
I know we all feel compelled to share news stories that touch us on some deeper level, but I cannot handle all of the murders/abductions/abuse stories I see streaming through my Facebook feed every morning. I avoid the news for a reason…please stop choosing the most DEPRESSING news stories to share on Facebook. You’re making ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS SAD.
7. Quick Weight Loss TIPS!
Ever notice that every article spouting weight loss tips involves improving your eating habits and exercising more? If I wanted to improve my eating habits and exercise more I wouldn’t be clicking on articles telling me how to lose weight QUICKLY. Newsflash weight loss world, I don’t WANT to exercise…can you please come up with another solution for quick weight loss?
I think that about sums it up for me…
Did I just write a list about things I’m tired of reading about and then proceed to TALK ABOUT why I didn’t want to read about them?
Yes. Why yes I did.
I guess I’m not really over them yet after all.