I made the mistake of dozing off on my couch the other day. All of the kids were away at school, I had completed a ton of work, and after a really late night the night before, I was exhausted.
I had an hour before preschool pick up time and I thought I would go ahead and allow myself to enter dreamland for JUST a minute.
And just like that I was asleep….dog at my feet…sun streaming through the window. A moment of luxury indeed.
Until the doorbell rang…my heart JUMPED into gear, the dog started barking and I was on my feet before my eyes were open, “Oh my God what’s happening? What’s happening? What am I doing right now?”
I stood in front of the door with my hands on my head trying to think of WHAT I should do next…open the door? Yes, that seemed like a good step. Heart still racing, adrenaline pumping, brain still sleeping, I opened the door.
“WELL HELLO!!!!!! YOU MUST BE THE QUEEN OF THIS FINE CASTLE HEE HEE HEE”
It was the vacuum people! Very enthusiastic and LOUD vacuum people. Again. Will I ever get peace from them? I managed to mumble out in my most drunk sounding-slurred-barely-awake speech, “Everyoneissleepingthisisabadtime” and shut the door in her face as she excitedly shouted out a reason for me to keep the door open. But I couldn’t hear it because I was too busy trying to keep my heart from having a heart attack.
Sometimes I really really don’t like people.
And I never like vacuum people.
NO SOUP FOR YOU!
Jen says
I remember your post about the vacuum people!! I am >< this close to start doing the same when people start knocking on my door. I've been burned too many times by a door salesman's lies. And plus they do tend to knock when you start changing, sleeping, peeing .. etc. and for that they do deserve a door slam in the face.
Jenn [ Crippled Girl ] says
I think the next time they show up, you should break down and cry hysterically because you were expecting a crockpot salesperson. And remember to videotape it. lol :P
And seriously BOO to her for ruining glorious nap time!
Tina says
Oh thats a good one!
Tina says
Baaaahhahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!
Jen says
We used to live in the city and got door to door sales people coming over all the time.
Then we moved.
In the country, more importantly in the woods, they don’t come over. One they can’t find the house but also the shock fence helps stop them too.
Marta says
Lol. I hope you actually shouted “No Soup For You!” at them. I will from now on hang up on all telemarketing with that sentiment.
Jennifer says
You need a “No Solicitations. NO! Not even you.” sign.
Jennifer says
Or a “I will call the police if you ring my doorbell” sign.
Gina says
I hate answering the door in direct proportion to my love of a good nap. You can actually see my fav nap spot if you look through the side window of the door. I immediately slide down and hide because I can see them before they see me.
Kristen says
You know the “Do Not Call List”? You should see if there is a “Do Not Sell Vacuum” list.
Sorry they messed up your nap. Those quick ones are sometimes the best!
Jamie says
Door-to-door vacuum salespeople still exist? Wow. I thought you could only find their image in some wax museum. Sorry about your nap though. If I collapse like that, I’m usually awaken by a phone call from the school that I forgot to pick up a child.
Colleen says
Nothing good comes from an unannounced knock at the door. I have a panic attack even when I’m awake!
Blythe says
I have never encountered a vacuum salesperson, but it sounds like you handled it quite admirably!
Diane@BeStillaMinute says
It has been my experience that it is almost NEVER good when someone knocks on the door or rings the bell unexpectedly. The last time it happened to me, it was a Jehovah’s Witness lady. And they rank right up there with the vacuum people!
I would have been so pissed about having my nap interrupted. Ugh!
Kisatrtle says
Omg… That ought to be a crime
Holly from 300 Pounds Down says
My chihuahua, Boxer, and two cats all go nuts when the doorbell rings. Then the kids start hopping all over trying to peer through the blinds . I have a panic attack. And the people on the other side of the door have no idea what kind of chaos they’ve unleashed with one ding of the bell. I totally relate!!!
mandalynn says
I hate those people. The one time one of them actually got into my house they were so RUDE. Showing me how dirty my house was; how it was a wonder my children wern’t dying of allergys; how my dog could be groomed with this $500 machine so my disgustingly dirty house would “smell so much better.” After he left I nearly called DSS on myself, but I was too depressed and decided to take a nap instead. ;o)
megryansmom says
How about hanging a sign on your door that says “WE SHOOT SOLICITORS”
Lisa Weinstein says
OMG too funny! I didn’t know the vacuum people still existed!
Lisa