At first I was going to write a post about the 10 things my husband does better than me and then I was going to show it to him and be all “Happy Father’s Day honey, see how much I love you?”
But after staring at a blank screen for 30 minutes and then checking my email and Facecbook and Twitter and Pinterest and then instagramming myself on my computer and then staring at a blank screen for 30 minutes AGAIN, I realized…there really aren’t 10 things he does better than me.
I made the mistake of asking him for help which really just lead to bit of arguing.
me: Can you think of anything you’re better than me at?
Pat: Oh YEAH!
me: Name one thing.
pat: Finances, directions, math, doing homework with the kids, yard work, keeping calm, taking care of the dog, doing the dishes, cleaning…
me: Okay now you’re just getting offensive and by the way I said name ONE thing.
pat: Those just came off the top of my head.
me: There’s no way you’re better at cleaning than I am…I mean give me a break.
pat: Well what do you think I’m better than you at?
me: Lying.
pat: What?
me: Like that time you told me you were in a band called Kalapana with your friends in Hawaii and you sang Beach Boy songs acapella and toured the islands.
pat: Oh yeah…that was a good one. I’m also better at volleyball than you.
me: What a joke.
pat: Oh come ON Kat! You know it’s true…playing AND coaching.
me: pashaw…I don’t recall seeing YOU win any awards for being one of the best middle blockers in your ALL STAR LEAGUE.
pat: *cough* community college *cough*
me: You’re such a jerk…and by the way! I HEARD my little sister ask you who was better at volleyball…me or my older sister and for the record? Don’t you EVER hesitate with that answer again. You were really trying to think about it and give a fair answer and let me just be clear about what your answer to that question needs to be from here on out, “My WIFE.” Someone asks you who was better at ANYTHING, your answer is always “My WIFE.” Period. Do you understand?
pat: Well…do YOU think you were better than your sister at volleyball?
me: IT DOESN’T MATTER! My sister was voted prettiest in the entire high school, I’ve spent my life comparing myself to her beauty and unmatched kindness. LET ME HAVE THIS ONE.
So my brainstorm sesh didn’t go quite as planned. It doesn’t matter though. We both know the truth. I’d be lost without that man. I’m just glad he has such a great sense of humor, I’m not sure there are many men who would put up with my interrogating the way he does.
Reasons I Love My Husband:
Reasons I Love My Husband:
1.)He brings me warm bottles to give to the baby in the middle of the night when I am cussing him out in my head.
2.)He ignores my juvenile behavior and patiently waits for me to get over myself and discuss our finances like an adult.
3.)He sits back until I give him the “look” and then he swoops in and rescues me from a sure death of toddler suffocation.
4.)He sat at the door of the operating room, after I was rushed in following an emergency c-section, waiting for word of my condition…for six hours.
5.)He drives 45 minutes out of his way to go get me sushi on Friday night because I’m hungry and moody and tired and he wants me to be happy.
6.)He says things like, “Kat. Who are the most important people in your life? We are all here. We all love you. We’re not going anywhere. Just remember that.” and makes me feel better when things start getting to me.
7.)He takes time away from HIS job and comes home on a moments notice to help ME with MY job.
8.) When I’ve had a tough day with the kids he lets me talk it out until I run out of gas and then suggests we send them to a different daycare.
9.) He wears my pink polk-a-dotted apron without so much as a blink when I want to take a picture of him for The Blog.
10.)He will never leave me for Kathy Lee Gifford because he thinks she’s outdated and fears for his life.
11.) He supports my shopping habit and watches the children as I single handedly delay our family’s future for a few cute tops…ok a lot of cute tops…and some shoes…maybe a clutch.
12.) He’s one of those smarty pants people who is not on the up and up with hidden messages and does not care about superficial stuff…including the condition of my hair, windblown or not.
13.)He doesn’t take sides when I tell him to whack our son for an entire day of horrid behavior but instead delicately puts his hand on our baby boy’s head and turns to me to say, “My God Kat, he’s burning up!!” and then asks me to fetch the motrin.
15.) He buys me stuff to keep me from breaking his stuff.
16.) He writes me poems telling me he doesn’t want any more babies, but at least he’s being nice about it.
18.) He puts thought into buying me the most ridiculous Christmas present I could never ask for.
19.) He doesn’t bring home yellow apples.
20.) He let’s me rip on him about his man colds and even though I’ve got one of my own.
21.) I’m not sure there are many men who would put up with my interrogating the way he does.
Breenah says
My husband is also better at lying than I am. He let me go for years thinking a funny joke was his and then I saw the Futurama episode. I still won’t let him live that down.
Angel says
Yeah my hubby sucks at lying, really sucks.. I can read him like a book. He mops better than I do, I loathe mopping and so does my back.
Tatum says
Very funny and sweet! Just came across your blog and think it’s great. I look forward to coming back and reading more.
Marta says
Lol. I would say hands down the 100% thing my husband does better than me is patience. I have none of it. In fact we are kind of the opposite on most everything (which starts to get trying with time), but I still admire his patience (especially with me!)
Erin white says
Thanks… You reminded me it’s the little things that really matter… Think I’ll go make my own list..
Tracy P. says
LOVE that photo. And your marriage. You know these are my favorites. Pat just makes me smile. :-)
AnnMarie says
Love #12. My husband is the same way. The argument made me laugh out loud. This was so sweet and inspiring. Wonder if I could come up with a list or if I’d sit there for 30 minutes looking at a blank screen. :)
Jennifer says
I love the conversations the two of you have. Just awesome. And sweet.
Marinka says
There’s only one way to settle the who-is-best-at-cleaning thing. Both you and your husband report to my house for a clean-off!
John says
This is hilarious and truth be told it makes me a little bit jealous, I wish there was something I was better at than my wife… besides lying that is.
Kristen says
I cracked up about Pat lying that he was in this super cool band! You were giddy when he told you, weren’t you?! ;-) Every girl loves a guy in a band.
heather... says
Pat! Pat! Pat! Pat!
Menopausalmother says
Your blog is adorable! i really like this post. Every husband would love to have their wife write something this nice for them…and he sounds terrific, too! Great job here!
Mimi says
Can NOT even tell you how hard I laughed at this. Sounds like it could be a “day in the life” with me. When I read #13, that was my undoing! I was in tears from laughing so hard! You’re awesome Kat…er, I meant your husband’s awesome!