I tease my husband a lot about what a giant baby he is when he gets sick. Mostly I’m just jealous that he gets to take days off when he’s feeling under the weather, whereas I work unless I’m throwing up. That’s really the only exception.
I’ve had days where I’ve been laying on the couch with a fever and as parents drop their kids off they say, “Okay baby, stay away from Ms. Kathy today, she’s not feeling good mkay?”
This weekend I’ve been hobbling around like an old lady. I have no idea what happened. One day I went to bed fine, the next day I couldn’t move my neck or any of my joints. Ankles, knees, elbows, wrists, shoulders, fingers…you name it. EVERYTHING is in pain.
Other than a moderately stressful couple days I spent filming for a fun cooking series with She Knows in Arizona last week (stressful only because I’ve never in my life done something like that) I can’t think of anything that would cause my body to feel 90.
I’ve re-run the past week over in my head. Have I been in a car accident? Did I fall from a tall building? Did someone push me down a flight of stairs? What in the world might have happened to completely cripple all of my joints? Am I 90 years old?
Naturally I ran a quick Google search because that’s always a smart thing to do and discovered I could have absolutely nothing wrong with me other than joint inflammation OR I could have any variety of arthritis, Lupus, Lyme Disease, MS, Bone Cancer, Toxic Shock Syndrome etc. Nothing I read said “your body is lacking in banana…eat one and you’ll be fine”, which is pretty much what I was looking for.
Either way I’m sure this means I’m going to die, and just like my husband when he’s taken ill, you can find me slowly shuffling through the house, moaning just audibly enough for him to hear and recognize I’m still in pain, and sighing every time I sit down or stand up so that everyone in the house knows that DEAR JESUS I CAN’T MOVE MY BODY ANYMORE.
Accepting donations of flowers, chocolate, alcohol, money and jewelry today.