This one time I decided it wasn’t fair that boys get to pee standing up while us girls are restricted to sitting only. I didn’t appreciate the double standard. Just one of many double standards I would grow to hate.
One day I was all, “Maaaan, I can pee standing up if I want to!” and so I did.
Wouldn’t you know there really is a reason girls are better off sitting in the bathroom? Without boy parts I really wasn’t able to aim the way one might hope.
I padded down my legs and ran on my way, but my mother called me over to the bathroom just minutes later, “Kaaaathy??? Come here!”
I was all “What??” as we stood there staring at the drenched toilet and floor and she was all “What on Earth happened in here??? Did you try to pee standing up???”
How did she always know EVERYTHING!?!