I’ve never had any desire whatsoever to do a corn maze. Pay $30 to get lost in a labyrinth of corn with three kids who despise walking, following a map that I can’t read because I can’t read maps?
No thank you.
Last year the kids begged to do the corn maze and I distracted them with cotton candy and baby chicks.
This year I had no such luck.
We went in.
I imagine all corn mazes start the same. Everyone’s excited to run amok amidst the corn stalks and then an hour an a half later you find them dragging, sweating, Mom carrying everyone’s coats, one kid 20 yards behind the rest of the family and Dad leading the way.
It took us forever to complete because I stupidly told the kids about the seven mailboxes placed strategically throughout the maze. If you collect the stamp from each mailbox, you receive a prize.
My fate was sealed.
An hour and a half later we had all the stamps.
The prize? A snack sized, pre-packaged bag of cotton candy.
In the car Pat was all, “I knew the corn maze would be a bad idea for you. You’re not a puzzle person.”
And by “not a puzzle” person I interpreted that to mean, “you are stupid” and I was all “Excuse me? If I do recall I completely rocked your ass at Tetris!”
And he was all, “Tetris isn’t a puzzle…it’s multi-tasking.”
Which actually does make a lot of sense, but it didn’t take the ache away from my throbbing legs after walking for an hour and a half through a corn maze for a lousy bag of cotton candy. Would it have killed them to have given us fresh cotton candy? Or better yet…our MONEY BACK for completing that nightmare?
An hour and a half.
I’ll never get that time back.
How much do you want to bet I’ll be writing another version of this post next year at this time? Because the only person who to remembers how challenging our outings can be, seems to be Pat.
Me and the kids will be like, “OH! A CORN MAZE!!!”