I’ve never had any desire whatsoever to do a corn maze. Pay $30 to get lost in a labyrinth of corn with three kids who despise walking, following a map that I can’t read because I can’t read maps?
No thank you.
Last year the kids begged to do the corn maze and I distracted them with cotton candy and baby chicks.
This year I had no such luck.
We went in.
I imagine all corn mazes start the same. Everyone’s excited to run amok amidst the corn stalks and then an hour an a half later you find them dragging, sweating, Mom carrying everyone’s coats, one kid 20 yards behind the rest of the family and Dad leading the way.
It took us forever to complete because I stupidly told the kids about the seven mailboxes placed strategically throughout the maze. If you collect the stamp from each mailbox, you receive a prize.
My fate was sealed.
An hour and a half later we had all the stamps.
The prize? A snack sized, pre-packaged bag of cotton candy.
In the car Pat was all, “I knew the corn maze would be a bad idea for you. You’re not a puzzle person.”
And by “not a puzzle” person I interpreted that to mean, “you are stupid” and I was all “Excuse me? If I do recall I completely rocked your ass at Tetris!”
And he was all, “Tetris isn’t a puzzle…it’s multi-tasking.”
Which actually does make a lot of sense, but it didn’t take the ache away from my throbbing legs after walking for an hour and a half through a corn maze for a lousy bag of cotton candy. Would it have killed them to have given us fresh cotton candy? Or better yet…our MONEY BACK for completing that nightmare?
An hour and a half.
I’ll never get that time back.
How much do you want to bet I’ll be writing another version of this post next year at this time? Because the only person who to remembers how challenging our outings can be, seems to be Pat.
Me and the kids will be like, “OH! A CORN MAZE!!!”
Gigi says
I have always wanted to do a corn maze – although I think half way through I’d probably be bored by the whole thing – but I couldn’t beg or bribe my family to do it. Psssh, don’t they know that is the stuff that memories are made of?
Jen says
Ha! I totally feel your pain. I went through a corn maze not once but twice.
And yes, I got lost twice in the same damn maze.
Dionne says
Okay, I will admit that I am great at puzzles, but I promise I am not bragging! I am not fond of small spaces and although a corn maze isn’t too squishy, the thought of seeing rows of corn is a bit unnerving.
An hour and a half…uggh, I feel your pain. At least you got some great blogging material!
Mindi says
I can totally relate. We did the corn maze thing for the first time this year with our 3 year old and 18 month old. After 30 minutes we ended up back near the start point and decided to call it a day, as the husband was carrying both boys. It was fun while it lasted..for the first 5 minutes.
Marta says
$30 for a corn maze?! I sure hope that was total not each.
I’ve never done one myself, I think I might like it though. I enjoy running away from people and hoping they can find me. Or wait is that hide and seek?
Colette says
OMG. I love your blog! Discovered it a couple of weeks ago via your journaling prompts and after reading a few posts I subscribed! And, I haven’t looked back.
We live the same life … only mine isn’t nearly as funny as yours. bbwwahahaha
Thanks for the grins!! xoxox
Jessica says
I can understand the difficulty with having the kids along, but me and my husband got lost, after dark, after getting their early because we couldn’t find one of the signs (similar to the boxes in your maze). I know we passed the same spot at least three times. I look forward to yearing about your corn venture next year!
Hope says
Too funny! I’ve never been to a corn maze . Well at least you got some great pictures. The pics looks more fun than you sounded in the blog..hahaha! Great post
Mimi says
Nope, always avoided mazes like the plague. Of course I’ve ruined my kids lives by never taking them, but I’ll be the first person never to make their way out. lol Can’t wait to hear about your expedition next year!
Jennifer says
My friend got seriously lost in a corn maze last year, for like hours. I’ve never been in one, but now I have no desire to do it. Spending hours lost in a corn maze with two tired children does not sound like fun.
Chris Carter says
SO funny!! So ridiculous about the little snack bag of CC. BUT it ALWAYS is like that isn’t it? And each time the kids fall for the “prize” carrot and freak out accordingly. Mine are at the table right now whining and begging us to buy their magazine subscriptions for a school fundraiser and if they sell them, guess what they get? A PRIZE!!!!!!! Yep. Right there with ya. ;)
Andrea says
I feel ya sister. Did one of those damn corn mazes when my twins were 1 and the Big Guy was 3. After thirty minutes I busted through one of the walls with my triple stroller and called it a day. I can lend it to you for next year if you like! It’s the size of a Hummer (SUV) and quite useful in these situations…. just sayin. :)
AimeeWrites says
Next time, I highly recommend the trip out to this corn maze (http://www.thefarm1.com/farm-at-swans-trail-corn-maze.htm). It’s…shaped like Washington. (the state, not the Prez) The paths through it are the major freeways and highways, and there’s a mini space needle. It’s actually kind of fun.
Kate says
I grew up with family who farmed…I’ve spent more time in corn fields than I would like to admit!
If you’d ever like to go play in the corn field for free, I can point in the right direction. Though, those corn fields don’t come with maps. :)
Dana @ This Silly Girl's Life says
LOL, I have never done one and I have no desire to and this just sealed the reasons why.
Heather says
Oh, Pat.
#TeamTetris