A Coffee Date With Me

Want to have a coffee date?

If I had you over to my house, I would ask you to stop by Starbucks on your way. A grande pumpkin spice latte for me. I hope you don’t mind the Bailey’s I dump inside, I’m friendlier when I’m buzzed.

There would be Spongebob Squarepants singing about living in a pineapple as my kids stomp around in my roller skates. They’re learning, so you’ll have to speak up as they pound their wheels into my hardwoods.

My little Kainoa might ask you to buy him a train again and again and again and again. Isn’t he endearing?

I would probably ask you to sit on the floor. Keep my kids occupied with stories of your own while I steal a quiet minute to use the bathroom. It’s been so long.

I would probably apologize for my dog’s over active need to hump legs. I hope you take it as a compliment. He only humps attractive women…which is why I can rarely have him around me.

I would tell you we’re ready for Thanksgiving! I have showed my daughters tutorials on how to properly prepare a turkey and I can’t wait to taste their final product. I would ask what your kids will be serving you this Thanksgiving? And confess to you that¬† this is actually my least favorite holiday. Would it have killed the pilgrims to serve pizza during this feast?

I would tell you I desire little more than to nap soundly right smack dab in the middle of the floor as my children skate stomp around me.

I would confess I don’t have the courage to wear colored jeans in public. Or riding boots. Or the two together. Even though I’ve seen they look adorable on Pinterest.

I would tell you about my wonderful children.

Maile is bright and gets 100% on her spelling words each week. Laina is magical. Part girl, part dog…I never tire of her laughter/howl. And Kainoa has a gift for gab. He will enlighten you with his knowledge of trains and Fruit Loops. I would ask you if you’d like to take them home with you. They are my greatest gifts and I am a giver. I love to share my gifts.

I would thank you for coming over and wave wildly as you drive off with my children. They will make themselves at home with you for the day and you can bring them back after you feed them their dinner.

Please come again any time…with the Starbucks…and the Bailey’s.

I’m fresh out.


  1. says

    Sounds like a blast, lady. I would accidentally nap while guests help themselves to tap water… and unloading my dishwasher. Hostess with the mostest!

  2. says

    I’d have coffee with you at anytime….if only we were on the same coast…but, if for some reason it does happen, it’s a Salted Caramel Mocha for me. Write that down. :-)

  3. says

    Hysterical! You made my day. I remember those days well and (almost) miss them. Naw, I really do miss them, but the morning peace is a nice perk. Now I watch as my eldest daughter who has 6 kids under 12 does the same thing. And I wonder? Did she not learn anything from me?

  4. says

    Brilliant. :) I can picture every single thing… while I am sipping my starbucks over here… Question: Can I extend that same invitation back to you? I vote for the pilmrims to have ordered Donatos.

  5. says

    Stomp-skate – that is classic! It’s amazing how your love for your kids can fill you up and suffocate you all at once. Here’s to caffeine and Bailey’s. Cheers!

  6. says

    Honestly my brain couldn’t get past the concept of Starbucks. If it didn’t require putting on pants I would be in my car going to get some RIGHT NOW. Why don’t they deliver??

  7. says

    Damn straight, I wanna have coffee with you.
    Damn straight, I’ll bring Bailey’s… but I’ll probably forget the coffee.

  8. says

    I don’t really get the pumpkin spice latte thing. I mean, Baileys goes so much better in a mocha. Chocalte, coffee and alcohol all at once. That’s the way to get through the day. Be there in 5.

  9. says

    Thanksgiving your least favorite holiday? Not you MamaKat? Not that I’m crushed that my favorite holiday is your least favorite. If we were ever to have coffee, I say lock the door on the kids, set them up with a movie and we’ll head to Starbucks. I’ll buy and then convince you why Thanksgiving is the best holiday ever.