The other day on Mommalogues I talked about who shaped me most as an individual and I pointed my finger at my brothers and sisters. While my mom and dad are brilliant and loving, it was my brothers and sisters who taught me how to survive. And also to laugh.
They are the only people in the world I know who one second might be yelling about how ugly and stupid I am for accidentally kicking the Nintendo while dashing in front of the TV and the next second find themselves standing up for me to someone calling me ugly and stupid.
While awaiting the arrival of my fifth niece this weekend with my oldest sister I was all, “my ultimate goal is to outlive all of you.” And she was all “What? Why in the world would you want to do that? Can you even imagine having to watch all of your siblings suffer and then be the last one living? Why would you want to do that!?!”
And I was all, “Because!! Then I win…at Life!”
And we both laughed because winning at life as the last sibling standing might be taking that competitive rivalry a little too far.
You might have beat me at soccer and baking and cleaning and high school’s most popular. You might win at H-O-R-S-E on the basketball court and you might hit the ball harder across the volleyball net. You might have beat me at Dr. Mario and maybe you’re a better driver. You win at gaining Mom’s trust, you win in a foot race, you win in a swimming match, you win the better grades…
But I will win…at LIFE!
So what if it’s a life lived as a giant loser, I’M STILL LIVING!
And if you happen to be looking back at this blog post after I’ve died before one or all of you, just know that I’m pretty pissed about losing AGAIN. I am now committed to flipping your lights on and off until you join me in heaven because if I can’t beat you at anything than I can at least feel good about scaring the crap out of you for the rest of your life.