Maile came home from school on Friday and was all, “well Mom…I have bad news and I have bad news…”
After welling up in tears on and off throughout the day every time I thought about the classroom of Kindergartners that had been so tragically killed…for no reason….I welcomed my daughter’s version of bad news, “Uh oh, lay it on me…”
“The 20 dollars I brought to school for the Santa Shop was lost in a pile of papers and my teacher couldn’t find it…so I didn’t get to go to the Santa Shop and today was the last day…”
My God how I appreciated that this was her bad news. She had been looking forward to going to the Santa Shop all week, I’m sure when she found out her money had been misplaced and she could no longer go it probably ruined her day.
But not her life.
These are the things we’re learning to appreciate now as parents.
“Oh Maile I’m sorry! I’ll email your teacher and ask her what happened, but in the mean time why don’t you go hop in the car…we’ll go to the dollar store right now and you can pick something out for everyone!”
She smiled big. Such an easy fix this time, but I feel like a sitting duck. Who knows where our luck will take us in the years to come.
This is not the post I had intended on writing and I feel stupid even publishing it. Who am I? Just another Mom who will continue planning Christmas for her kids and carry on, business as usual with a pit in my heart while families in Connecticut reel from this tragedy. An acute suffering that I cannot fathom. How these families must despise people like me…writing blog posts about how the shooting made me sad.
I hate myself for it, but it’s the mom in me…I can’t help it. I hear babies crying and I want to go to them. I see families broken and I want to fix them. I wish I could swoop in and rewind time and take everyone to the dollar store and make everything better. But I can’t do any of that…so I guess I just sit and write about it and feel sad.