2.) Dear Man, (an open letter…offer a word of advice, an issue you’d like to address, or a solution to a problem for the opposite sex).
It there’s one thing I know, it’s men.
Over the years I have learned how to capture, properly train, and talk to a man. When I discovered that not only do they speak different love languages than us, but that they’re also actually from an entirely different planet, I made it my life’s mission to help them survive in our world.
I recently discovered two words that will make every man’s life one thousand times easier…
There will be times when a woman comes at you with anger that makes you want to defend yourself. She might be upset by something you did, said, looked at, ate, touched, forgot, slept through, and much more. Your inclination might be to raise your voice. You won’t think you deserve her anger, but when you raise your voice to defend yourself you will undoubtedly make her angrier.
For example, let’s say you leave for work at 6am and the dog follows you downstairs. Your wife might prefer you let the dog outside since you’re up with him and she’s still trying to nab 30 more minutes of sleep after being woken throughout the night with various children while you slept peacefully (again). If you don’t let the dog outside there are two possible outcomes:
#1 Your wife will be forced to jump out of bed in just a tank top and dainties, rush downstairs to let the dog out and freeze her buns off while waiting for the dog to finish his business.
#2 Your dog will poop in the house and your wife will be forced to clean up the mess. (As if she has the time to add that to her busy morning routine with your children!) (again).
For argument’s sake, let’s say you do NOT let the dog out in the morning.
Your wife might send you an angry text, criticizing your decision because you KNEW that by refusing to put the dog out you were going to inconvenience her NO MATTER WHAT. You might respond by telling her to “get over” herself and that might make her REALLY angry.
When you get home from work she might come at you again. You could get annoyed that after all those hours passed she’s still uptight about the stupid dog. You might tell her you were running late for work and that’s why you didn’t let the dog out. That it’s not your fault. That she should be angry at the dog and not you. Perhaps you’ll get mad at her for being mad at you.
Man? This is exhausting for both of us and I’m going to arm you with two words that will nip these arguments with your wife right. in. the. bud.
That’s right, I’m SORRY!
Practice with me, “I’mmmmmm sorrrrryyyyy…”
Relatively simple words, they can be difficult to say, but they mean so much! And whether you mean it or not? They take your angry wife by surprise…she might still be mad at you, but what more can she say after a sincere apology? Nothing. Sure she can continue to stew over it if she chooses, but she’s kind of stuck. She can no longer run her mouth at you in an attempt to get you to understand and validate what she was experiencing because you validated her feelings the moment you spoke the words!
With a simple and calm, “Oh babe, I’m sorry! I meant to take the dog out, but I was in such a rush to get to work I guess I forgot!” Or how about, “Wow, I had no idea my not taking the dog out was going to be such a huge disruption for you! I’m really sorry about that!”
By doing this your wife will feel heard, validated, and? She might still love you.
However, when your sorry comes one week later (after a lot of stewing and grudge holding) and it sounds like this, “I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time with the fact that you don’t like to take the dog out in the morning. There. Is that better?”
The answer will be NO. An apology is not an apology when you’re apologizing for how someone else FEELS or how THEY reacted. You must apologize for something YOU did OR DID NOT DO.
Now it’s your turn!
Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!
1.) What are you reading?
2.) Dear Men, (an open letter…offer a word of advice, an issue you’d like to address, or a solution to a problem for the opposite sex).
3.) Show us your kitchen!
4.) Tell us about a time you were grounded…what did you do?
5.) What made you laugh this week?