That line about how you need to get back on the horse and try again after you fall never really had any meaning to me. I’ve rattled off that old cliche plenty of times when describing the need to keep going after failing at something, but since I’ve never been a horse rider, I didn’t exactly know what I was talking about. Is it hard to get back on a horse after you’ve fallen off?
Laina might tell you yes. She fell off a horse at her lessons the other day and I’m so glad I wasn’t there to see it. Apparently as they were practicing weaving in and out out of poles, Laina steered the horse she was riding (Chocolate) a little too close and the pole fell down…startling Chocolate. Chocolate took off, Laina fell off, and because Laina had a death grip on the reigns she didn’t actually let go right away and was drug a few feet. Whoops a daisy!
I got back to the arena just in time to see Laina back on the horse, but clearly whimpering. When she saw me she completely broke down. And because I’m the mother and I’m weak, I had to fight myself to just step back and allow her to keep going when everything in me wanted to scoop her up and tell her enough was enough and she could be done for the day. Her instructor seemed to think otherwise and encouraged Laina to go back to the poles and weave Chocolate in and out again.
“Okay Laina you need to tell her to go…you need to tell her it’s okay. She sees that pole right there and she thinks it’s scary, but you’re in charge and you have to show her it’s not scary…”
But Laina just sat there whimpering.
“Laina, Chocolate needs you to take her through the poles again tonight or she’s always going to be afraid of them. She’s always going to think they’re scary. If we let her quit tonight and don’t calm her fears, then she’s going to be afraid again the next time she sees the poles and she might startle again. We don’t want that to happen right? You need to tell her to go…”
And they stood there in that corner, instructor giving a pep talk to a scared girl on a scared horse with a scared mom looking on and I swear everything she was saying about helping the horse face her fears was actually all for Laina. She needed to finish her lessons being in charge again and feeling confident in her horse or who knows if she’d ever want to get back in the saddle again.
And with a deep breath, Laina pushed her horse forward, through, and around all of the scary poles again and again, until Chocolate’s ears no longer turned back in fear and Laina no longer whimpered. Phew!
I learned something about myself that night as well. I’m such a rescuer and just look how capable and confident these kids can be if we just expect it of them.
Now…since that lesson has been adequately learned by all, I’ll be fine not to learn it again thanks.
STAY ON THE HORSE LAINA!
Jodi T. says
I’m the same way. Almost, you could say, a helicopter mom. (I hate that term by the way.) Now that my kids are getting a little older, I’m fighting myself to not immediately say “NO! You’re going to hurt yourself!!!”, and let them try to do things. And guess what? They surprise me Every. Single. Time…
Glad Laina is ok! Glad you are too!
Happy (ahem) Monday :)
Kat says
My youngest really taught me to loosen up because that boy will not be held back. I’m finally to the point where it’s just like, “okay if you get hurt I guess you’ll learn..” and then I keep my fingers crossed. The girls aren’t quite as adventurous!
Jessica says
I would be that mom, too. Great lesson for us all. And I am glad Laina is OK. :)
Jennifer says
I’m a rescuer too. It is hard not to jump in and protect them. That’s our job. Right?
Kat says
Yes! I take a lot of cues from their horse instructor. Turns out caring for horses is EXACTLY LIKE caring for small children. So I get all my great tips from watching her.
Andrea says
Last week the little girl in lessons before us also fell off Chocolate. She was going to fast around the barrel and slid off. She got back on but it took a lot of convincing. Miss R is excellent at helping them get over the fears. This week that same little girl was running around, leading the big horses to graze like nothing happened. I think a fall can be a good thing. It makes getting back on next time all the sweeter.
Erin white says
You did good mama!
Denise says
First, I’m pretty sure that’s a pony. But yeah, you totally have to get back on the horse to conquer your fears. I was in a Girl Scout horse unit, so I know a little about this. Thankfully one of most memorable falls resulted in my horse turning around and looking at me like I was an idiot for falling off. For the non horse set, it’s like getting back on a bike after a fall. If you end your day with a fall that’s all your going to remember about the ride, then you’ll fear getting back on.
Kat says
OH TOMATOES TOMAHTOES!
Pony, horse…same thing. Kind of. It might as well have been a Clydesdale as far as I’m concerned. That’s my baby!!
And Chocolate did the exact same thing to Laina. Turned around like, “Oh dear, are you okay?”
Ginny Marie says
I was horse crazy when I was a kid and would have loved to take riding lessons! Laina’s instructor sounds wonderful!
Kat says
Enrolling them in lessons has been a blessing and a curse. On one side it has helped them with confidence and anxiety issues (LOVE) on the other side…I don’t see an end in sight. I have a feeling we’ll be paying for horse lessons until my girls are well into their teens. And yes, we’re very attached to their instructor!
Chris Carter says
Oh how I love this post!! I too, would have wanted to run to her and grab her and rock her and tell her “baby’s gonna be okay!!” I love that the instructor encouraged her to get right back on the horse- truly a lesson we all can take to heart. Now it’s got back up in reality, eh? Message received. Apparently for us all. May we all follow Laina’s lead!! :)
Gigi says
I guess that’s why we enroll them in these things – because the instructors have the emotional distance that mothers don’t have to get them through it!
Glad she’s okay and back in the saddle.
Kat says
For sure. She pushes my coddled little girls to step outside their comfort zone every weekend. So many times I’d normally step in and just be all, “Oh let me unlatch that harness for you!”, but she patiently waits for them to do it correctly and walks them through it.
joanne Gilman says
That IS scary, but she will gain alot of confidence doing this.
Kat says
Definitely!
bcIMthemommy says
We had horses during the majority of my childhood and I can tell you from experience that getting back on that horse is one of the hardest things you will ever do. No matter whether it’s a pony or a Clydesdale, it’s a LONG way down when you’re falling and a hard climb up to get back into that saddle.
It sounds like she has a wonderful instructor and I’m really glad she wasn’t hurt. And way to go Kat for allowing her to learn a hard lesson!
Kat says
Totally! It’s a different story when you’re the one riding. Laina is much braver than I am, those creatures still intimidate me and all I do is take pictures of them on Instagram! ;)
Jenny says
I am a lot better now that my son is older but when he was little I cringed anytime he did something I knew was about to end badly. Now I just stand there and think that’s gonna leave a mark ;) Then I swoop in like wonder woman with the bandaids and Mommy love.
Kat M says
As much as I want to protect my kids, I do want them to step out of their comfort zones and go the extra step. Sometimes, it leaves me cringing on the sideline like you but it’s definitely the way to go. Your daughter’s instructor sounds like a great teacher with a real gift for getting through to the kids. Hold onto her!
Elaine A. says
That’s a good instructor. But I would have been JUST like you! Falling is hard, in so many ways. But good job, Laina!!!
Jen says
We always seem to get life lessons when we least expect them, huh?
May says
Love this. The teachable moment….for everybody involved. So, well done by the instructor. I think you are getting your money’s worth!
Charity says
Children are so much stronger and resilient than we give them credit for. I’m happy all turned out well.