I hated school.
Not a day goes by where I watch my kids pack up their backpacks and lunches and think, “Man I’m glad that’s not me!”
It’s really hard to work up enthusiasm to go do something you’re not good at everyday. Note taking, tests, math, LISTENING…none of these things suited me. And forget about studying for tests. I never studied, but then secretly hoped some sort of brilliance would strike during test time and I’d just miraculously guess all the answers right.
I remember my Mom complaining about another failed test, “I don’t get it Kathy!! What do you do, just avoid studying and then hope some sort of brilliance will strike during test time and you’ll just miraculously guess all the answers right??”
I was all, “Pshaw, NOOOO!” but really I was thinking “How does she KNOW that!?!”
I went to college because I had no plan B to draw from. There was no other skill set. No hidden talents or gifts. I decided to become a teacher because I thought maybe the terrible student in me could think of a better way to teach other terrible students. I hated college, hated exams, hated living away from home, hated LEARNING stuff, but my boyfriend had hinted that he would probably propose when I graduated so I figured I should actually finish school less I spend the rest of my days raising cats as an old maid.
If you ask me now, there’s something quite comforting about the old maid cat plan. But I suppose I missed that boat. For now.
I can’t help but feel a shred of sympathy when my new Kindergartner whimpers about going to school because it “takes too long”. I hear him today and I think about how many more days he has left and I feel so bad for the little unknowing soul. As the mother, however, I can show no mercy because I have learned that the moment you let your guard down and feel sorry about their school hating shenanigans, they’ll lay it on thick every morning for the rest of the year.
I just can’t.
So this morning when my son was doing his usual, “Ughhhh I don’t wanna goooo!!!!”
I was all, “the bad news is, you will be doing this everyday for possibly the next 18 years…the good news is I’m willing to support you financially during this very difficult time…”
You can imagine my words did not offer much comfort, but he pulled himself together and climbed onto that bus for another day.
And as the bus drove away I made the sign of the cross and thanked God again that it was him and not me.