3.) A Happy Thanksgiving wish!
I wonder what the early pilgrims would have thought if someone had told them that someday…hundreds of years from now…there would be children in Cookie Monster shirts wearing construction paper hats to look JUST like them gathering together at school to eat deli turkey and popcorn as a way to pay homage to the “First Thanksgiving”.
I wonder if the pilgrims would be like, “huh? Turkey isn’t even ON our table, we eat deer with our bare hands…where’s your deer carcass??”
And maybe they’d be like “we don’t even wear those God awful hats, Thanksgiving is a multicultural community festival to celebrate our yearly harvest…not just for family!”
And we’d be all, “Sssshhhh…deer carcasses are for barbarians. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for family and the internet and you will wear your black buckled top hats because it’s part of our tradition now dammit! We also require a four day weekend filled with new movie releases, copious amounts of pumpkin pie and shopping all night long. Just a few improvements we’ve made since you were last here.”
The pilgrims would be like, “You’re missing the entire point!”
The pilgrims are so jealous!
I’m thankful they started this whole thing because FOUR DAY WEEKEND!
Happy Thanksgiving, my multicultural community!