Writer’s Workshop: I’m A Cat Whisperer

2.) Write a post inspired by the word: lost.

My third grader’s teacher drops her daughter off with me in the mornings before school. I feed her daughter breakfast in the mornings, she spends 7 hours teaching my daughter division at school. A perfect trade.

Recently this teacher had been complaining about her cat who was absolutely crazy. The cat was constantly meowing, had to have daily insulin shots for it’s diabetes, stole chicken legs from the dining room table at dinner time, barfed it back up at 2am…you get the picture. The cat had turned into a real nightmare for this family and I suggested she introduce the cat to her garage.

Our cats are outdoor kitties now after living inside for years and they have a wonderful home in the garage with full access to the free world. They love it outside. Truly. That’s not just something I say to make us all feel better. When it’s really cold I try to bring them in, but one in particular honestly prefers to be outside.

Maybe the teacher’s cat wants to be outside too, even though she has spent her entire life living indoors?

I encouraged the transition on multiple occasions, imagine the relief it will bring your house! No more meowing! No more stolen chicken legs!  

I could see the cat was driving her to consider it, but that her conscience was getting the best of her. Even though the cat was wreaking havoc on her life, she didn’t want it to DIE or anything.

Ohhhh nonsense! Cats love the fresh air. You’ll both be so much happier!

She was worried the cat would wander off and get lost.

Nonsense! I said, cats have a great sense of direction.

So she did it.

She introduced her cat to the garage.

And things were fine for a few days as both parties adjusted to their new “separate” living quarters. I congratulated myself because I LOVE cats and I’m a cat whisperer and I just know what’s best. Her cat was distressed and had a serious case of cabin fever. It needed to spread it’s wings. I have a sense about these things.

And then the cat disappeared.

He’s been missing now since December 3rd.

At first I was all, It’s okay! My cats leave sometimes but they always come back! He’ll be back you’ll see!

And then I just kind of stopped talking about it because December 3rd was a long time ago and my cats have never been gone THAT long.

Just the other day I overheard one of the kids ask the third grade teacher’s daughter what she’ll ask Santa for NEXT Christmas and she was all, “Hmmm….that’s a good question, let me think…well I guess I’ll ask for another cat, since my cat is lost…”

You guys? I think I killed the teacher’s cat.

And now my daughter will surely fail third grade out of spite.

I have no choice, but to show up at school on Valentine’s Day with a basket full of kittens to make things right. That should do the trick. Don’t worry, I’m a cat whisperer and I just know what’s best. I have a sense about these things.

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) A movie you loved as a child.
2.) Write a post inspired by the word: lost.
3.) Five of your current favorite things.
4.) Pinterest inspired! Share a pin you actually tried. How did it go?
5.) You’re better off without it…



Comments

  1. says

    lol Oh goodness. Well, you know, it’s always possible the cat was ready to be “gone”. It was a habit for our cats, who were indoor/outdoor cats to not come home when it was their time to pass on. =/ hahahaha So, in a way, maybe you did it a favor? Not trying to sound mean, just a possibility. Is your daughter’s teacher still bringing her daughter to your house? The lost cat hasn’t filtered down to your responsibility for her daughter? =)

    • says

      She still brings her daughter. She’s very sweet and pretends she’s not secretly planning to steal one of my cats in order to replace the one that went missing. There’s some scheming behind that smile of hers.

  2. says

    As Ralphie once said in A Christmas Carol, “Oooooh, fuuuuuuuudge.” You meant well. I know you did. That varmit’ll come back when it’s good and ready. I know…because I am a DOG whisperer.

    • says

      Those of us who are lucky enough to be whisperers know that we never make mistakes when translating what it is the animal needs. He’ll be back…mmhmm…any day now…

  3. says

    We lost a cat that way. To be fair, my mother-in-law and her happy dog were living with us at the time, so I don’t blame Pip for heading to parts unknown. If it makes you feel better, cats are natural born survivors. She is probably just fine.

  4. says

    I think the cat realized it was finally free and is living the good life on a beach in Mexico or somewhere.

  5. Andrea says

    Nice. In a sad, but yet funny way. It could be worse, my husbands co-worker and her husband recently moved from Indiana. While living in temp housing the cat decided to sleep in the washing machine.

    Yep, her husband washed the cat. It keeps on ticking, though I have a feeling it spent its nine lives in the spin cycle!

    • says

      I can’t believe it lived! I actually found my cat in the dryer just yesterday. First time that’s ever happened, but I flipped it closed when I walked past without realizing she was IN it. Thank goodness I didn’t turn it on. I can totally see how those “accidents” might happen.

  6. says

    Oh no, so awkward! Let’s just say he took advantage of his freedom and is somewhere with an abundance of chicken wings and other crazy animals. Like college! ;)

  7. says

    Oh maaaaan! That is awful. Hopefully, they are not too upset. Our cats have been introduced to the basement because they keep pooping everywhere except the litter box. Sigh. I love them, but sometimes I wonder if it’s worth the hassle to have pets.

  8. says

    For sure she NEEDS you to bring her an entire litter of kittens in every color and then your daughter will most definitely ace the third grade! Hey…my daughter is in third grade too…maybe I should bring her teacher some kittens…

  9. says

    I had a mostly wild cat that my husband and I tried to tame when we were first married. She lived with us off and on for 14 years (the off parts were always her choice.) Twice we gave her up for dead, having gone weeks and months without seeing her, and then presto, she’d turn up. Sitting on the porch like she’d never been away. She was happiest outside, and never quite cozied up to the idea of indoor living!

  10. says

    Oh no! That’s terrible and funny all at the same time. I introduced our cat to the garage and we are all happier this way. Life is good. He comes inside occasionally meows his brains out then goes back out. Poor teacher’s cat!

  11. says

    Maybe her cat found a cat boyfriend and they’ve eloped? It seems probable to me. I’ve seen Aristocats and I know every word to “everybody wants to be a cat” so that makes me somewhat if an expert right?

  12. says

    Oh my, that’s funny and really horrible all at the same time!

    Years ago there was this really sad stray cat hanging around our house, it actually lived under our porch. We left it outside but started feeding it. When the winter came I was worried about it so we let it live in the basement. When it was summer again we let the cat back outside but it freaked out and ran away. It came back a month later. Cat’s are so weird.

  13. says

    I probably would have given the same advice…because my cats were always much happier outside than inside. That could be because I was a neurotic freak about cat hair being on my furniture and the litter box smells…

  14. says

    December 3rd was…. yeah, a long time a go. I think the cat’s either in heaven or found someplace with better chicken.

  15. says

    Ha! My son likes to bring up how he misses his dog that I lost, the cat I thought would be better outside and never came back and the fish that needed to go back to his family via the toilet bowl.

  16. says

    Ohhhh noooo…. Maybe you shouldn’t show up at school with a basket of kittens, though, because then all the kids will want one, will whine at their parents and then those parents will be mad at you.

  17. says

    That is a crazy story! Some wonderful person dropped off kittens on our street Christmas Eve. Nice huh? Yes we are suckers and now own a cat. lol

    I’m so glad you leave the link open. I’m working my way back on track! Your “lost” prompt was the perfect way back. Thank you.