4. Listen. Write about what you hear, right now.
One of my biggest pet peeves is the sound of chewing. It makes me crazy…and I felt so validated to learn this is an actual condition that afflicts people. It makes me feel a lot better to know I’m not the only one who gets ragey over mouth sounds. I’m actually a victim. It’s not my fault I want to punch you while you sustain your life by chewing food in any sort of audible fashion.
In an ironic and sad twist, it seems someone is playing a cruel joke on me and it comes in the form of our two dogs. Everything started off okay when we adopted them and their only job was to be adorable puppies. But now that they’re older they’ve take to chewing and licking themselves all. day. long.
And because I am the pack leader and I’m home with them all day, they follow me everywhere I go…chewing and licking. I can’t escape it.
It’s so bad that my husband, who is not afflicted with my mouth noise disease, is ALSO driven crazy by it. In the middle of the night, if I’m not already hearing the slow, steady dog chewing, I am often startled awake by my own husband going, “SSSHHHHHH!!!!!” in a shushing voice that isn’t quiet at all.
Unfortunately, his SHUSH tactic has worked once or twice so now he SHUSHES the dogs throughout the night.
What do I do? Well I kick wildly. Perhaps if I nudge the dog at the end of my bed sternly enough he will snap out of his self-lickinng trance and fall asleep. Or he’ll fall off the bed, which brings me an evil sense of satisfaction.
Between the dogs constant licking, my husband’s loud SHUSHING, and my wild thrashing…I don’t know if maybe we should start our own band of some sort. Jimmy Fallon uses classroom instruments, I can’t help but feel like we may be on to something here.
Andrea says
A chewing and licking band! You’ll sell thousands of tickets. ;)
kelley says
My husband is also afflicted with that particular disease. He eats away from people by himself. My mom used to get after me for eating dinner with the kids before Mr. J got home from work–but life was better if he didn’t have to listen to us eat :) Good luck with the dog thing, I’m not sure how you solve that but a band would be entertaining.
Lynda@fitnessmomwinecountry says
Oh my gosh…I hate hearing the sound of someone eating. I have the most sensitive hearing, I swear I hear everything. I can’t wait to take time and join in the prompt today. OH I remember that Jimmy Fallon video and I love it. LOL
Tina says
My thing is hearing people bite their metal forks. It kills me every single time. It’s like nails on a chalkboard, and I have a physical reaction to it that is kind of obvious. I call my best friend Evil Laura because she cannot stand to let her lips touch the fork when she eats, so she ALWAYS bites the fork. How we managed to live together for six months in college without killing each other remains a mystery.
Tammy says
I feel your pain. Or should I say, I hear you? Human mastication is hard enough to bear. Dog licking just sends me over the top.
Donetta says
I must suffer from the same disease, except I never knew it was a disease. I can’t tolerate my children chewing gum. I, have also taken my foot and nudged our dog, sometimes a tad harder than needed due to the licking, chewing, insane noises. Great post.
Donetta says
Oh Goodness. This happens to me a lot. I seem to have entered my post like 5 times, but I have no clue how, or how to fix it. I apologize. Can anyone tell me how to fix it?
carol says
Oh, I can’t stand the sound of chewing either. Eating cereal in the mornings and slurping soup are just as bad. Yeah, I just want to slap the mouth that chews with it wide open!
May says
I wish I could tell you that I will watch your you tube video of “the band”, but sadly, I too am afflicted with the grossed-out-by-chewing-noises disability. So, I will support you from afar!
Tonya Marie says
Wow! I don’t have pets, but I can so relate to this issue. I used to think I was just being a jerk so I was glad to be able to claim its an actual condition! lol. Though it doesn’t stop my husband & kids from making the most obnoxious sounds. I also especially hate the sound of silverware tapping & scraping plates and chomping of chips! And loud breathing…maybe I am just being an irritable jerk now. Great post! :)
Jaime says
This is spot on! It’s good to know I’m not alone!