My kids, like all kids, beg for new things all the time. Candy, toys, clothes, food…they want it all.
I’ve waited 9 whole years for them to start to comprehend what it means when I pull out my wallet to buy something for them.
The latest obsession is a pair of Toms shoes to match an outfit.
me: I don’t mind buying you new shoes, but I’m not buying them just so you have something to match an outfit.
Laina: No, I’ll wear them with many outfits! Can we buy them right now?
me: I don’t know…I think I’ll about it. Maybe I’ll order them.
Laina: Ugh!! Why can’t we go NOW?
me: Because Laina, I’m going to have to think about that and I don’t really have money for that right now.
Laina: Just use your debit or credit cards!
me: How do you think money gets on those cards? I have to put money on them…and how do you think I put money on them? I have to work! It will take me 3 hours of working on my computer to pay for a pair of shoes! (not exactly)
There always has to be that one last push on behalf of the child to make the parent completely lose their cool. That one last comment that stops you in your tracks and turns your annoyed argument into A Lesson That Needs To Be Learned. This happened for me when Laina said:
“Well then go work for three hours and let’s go!”
To which I turned and was all, “Oh that sounds really fair Laina! Let me go sit down and work for three hours so that you can have shoes and a new outfit! When is the last time you worked for three hours? You can’t even clean your own room! But you have no problem asking ME to work for YOUR outfit.”
And then the house was quiet.
The lesson was being learned.
I high fived myself.
This morning Maile was all “I don’t have to have new shoes with my outfit mom. I heard what you said to Laina last night and it made me sad.”
VICTORY!!!
Finally these kids were starting to understand this concept of work. I was being appreciated! My work was being validated!
And then Laina followed up with, “can we buy the dogs an outfit?” and also “I can buy my own shoes because Daddy owes me 30 dollars for feeding the cats this month.”
And I was all, “you fed the cats once. Daddy offered to pay you for doing chores everyday of the month…including cleaning the play room.”
And she was all, “I did clean the play room.”
And I was all, “Once.”
And she raised her eyebrows at me like “seeeeeeee!”
I’m making headway on the “Value Of A Dollar Lesson” with the wrong kid.
…the other one is cleaning her room right now….I think.
Sandra says
Not to be a big know-it-all, but it wasn’t until my son turned 18 and got a minimum wage job, and had to pay for gas and save for college, that he finally understood that I didn’t actually have money stuffed in my mattress, Now the kid is so fricken cheap he makes me pay for gas if I borrow his car. Stupid life lessons…
Ginny Marie says
If only I could get my kids to clean their rooms…it is a never ending battle! And yes, the whole “magic credit card” is a concept they don’t seem to understand.
kelley says
life lessons must be learned no matter how hard they are. stick to your guns! I made my kids earn beans instead of money. They told me what they wanted and I would put a bean value on it, and then they would go to work earning beans. I made the mistake once of telling my daughter I’d pay her a penny for every dandelion she dug over the course of the summer–she earned $300! That broke the bank! I never made that mistake again. beans were an unknown quantity that I could put a value on depending on the age of the child and the item desired.
Jessica says
I hear ya. I have actually been way to lenient with my son (he’s adorable and an only child, I can’t help it), but now that he’s 6, I need to start putting my foot down. I think we have a responsibility to teach our kids the value of hard work, but ugh… that’s hard work for us, too! ;)
Maggie says
It’s hard to do–but we try and use cash as much as possible for this reason alone. Especially if we’re not grocery shopping or buying essentials. It’s kind of a neat trick when they see you pay with cash and then you can show them that your wallet doesn’t have any more “real” money in it to spend. My biggest downfall is online shopping–when my daughter is confused that the brown truck guy isn’t going to give us something today–I know I have an issue. :)