When I was growing up I did not have unlimited access to food. If I was hungry I had to ask for a snack but 50% of the time the answer was, “Good! Then you’ll be hungry for dinner!”
Part of the reason for this was because there are six kids in my family. Can you imagine what your food pantry would look like at the end of each day if all six of your kids had unlimited access to the Oreos? Not to mention I’m fairly certain we were poor. Which is why I was always asking my cousin to steal food from her house and/or force her to beg our neighbors for candy. Much of my early childhood days were spent attempting to secure sweet treats for myself without alerting my mother in any way whatsoever. Fly under the radar with cookies, that’s all I asked for in life.
I remember in college, babysitting my coach’s kids one evening, and she told me what to make them for dinner and said, “of course if they’re hungry before that they can grab some grapes from the refrigerator.” And sure enough there was a big bowl of washed grapes on a shelf they could reach in the refrigerator!
UNLIMITED GRAPES!
It was then that I decided food was not going to be a big deal in my house with my future kids. They will always have unlimited grapes. If they say they’re hungry, they can eat. Open kitchen, 24 hours a day and I don’t care if it ruins their appetite for dinner.
And they do eat. They eat the unlimited grapes and the sliced apples. They eat the cheese sticks and crackers. And they eat all the cookies.
Not to mention I’m fairly certain we’re poor.
The other day I asked my 9 yr old if she was eating candy for breakfast before school…she gave me a thumbs up and walked away.
Maybe my Mom’s way was better after all.
Lena Blair says
I am right in between, the kitchen isn’t open 24 hours a day but I don’t limit my kids either. My son would eat all day long if you let him and NEVER eat his dinner lol! But I don’t say no often. I grew up as mostly an only child (my brother was rarely home from the time I was 8 and left home when I was 10) and we weren’t poor according to my mom but she still said no ALL THE TIME! I started sneaking treats whenever I had a chance and got a bit chunky. I am now paying for all those treats, thats why I rarely tell them no. Instead I am teaching them moderation.
Jen says
i think one of saddest things I’ve ever heard during my teaching career was some high school girls at the alternative school saying that they would at least always have food in the cabinets so DHS wouldn’t hold that against them.
We were poor growing up – my father lived in a utility shed for awhile with no indoor plumbing. But I don’t remember being hungry. There was always food. Usually from the garden.
ann bennett says
I remember my older brother telling me, “I get a pickle anytime I want one.” Pickles lasted maybe a day in our house when I was a kid. I would beg mom to buy carrots. What is rare is a treat.
Raising kids takes incredible insight.
Tiffany says
Hmmm. I try to only go shopping once a week (unless there are snow days, like this week). So if they eat all the snacks by Monday, too bad, so sad, refills isn’t until Sunday. So they adjust, chips/pretzels are done… cold cereal… when that’s all gone.. they get inventive, ya know, fruits :)
Moni Barrette says
This gave me feels. Not sure I wanted feels, on a Monday, before I’d had my coffee =)
Regardless, your mother’s way was not “better,” it was simply different. Letting your kids eat when they feel the urge to eat is a healthy practice. Controlling WHAT goes in their gullets, well-that’s a whole other story! I am *trying* so hard not to even keep junk food in my home, simply for that reason, but it is so hard! And, she’s only 2 so it’s not like she’s sneaking it in yet. I did give her 1/2 a thin mint Girl Scout cookie yesterday and the result was literally happy dancing feet. We’re doomed!
Allyson says
Food equals security, even when we try and not make it work that way. I wish you all the grapes you could ever want. :)
Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says
I love the thumbs-up. That’s sass right there. ;)
Jill says
Let them eat grapes!! We didn’t have tons of money growing up either but I do remember we were always well fed. That’s what happens when your moms Italian. She’s constantly worried you’re not eating enough! Haha
Andrea says
We didn’t really snack a lot growing up. When we did it was usually the minute my mom stepped in the door from the grocery store, and we would inhale all the lunch bag foods. We never had fruit roll-ups in our lunches, but we sure had them the five minutes after mom came home from shopping.