3. Share something you learned this week.
I don’t even like to hike.
I must have seen some sort of local news show that talked about Discovery Park in Seattle and how there’s a beautiful lighthouse at the beach there. I realized I had never actually been to Discovery Park so I proposed we go on Sunday evening. My family has little say when I get my mind on something. They’re at the mercy of my every adventure.
“Don’t worry, it will be fun!”
The website said the beach and lighthouse was a 1.5 mile hike from the parking lot and that sounded manageable.
A sunset hike!
How lovely!
It was awful. The entire hike was downhill. So many stairs. So much dirt. So many complaining kids. It took us somewhere between 20-30 minutes and flip flops were a terrible walking choice.
When we made it to the bottom I made the mistake of saying, “Boy I don’t even want to THINK about how hard it is going to be to walk 1.5 miles back UP HILL!”
Laina burst into tears.
I didn’t even bother consoling her because she was right.
There was an eclipse of time where everyone was happy. The lighthouse was beautiful. The kids frolicked in the sand. The water glistened!
But we had to hustle up and leave because while a sunset hike sounded lovely at the time, it means the 1.5 mile trek uphill will be dark.
When we finally made it the van I collapsed and cursed myself and my stupid idea, but my crossfit husband was all, “thanks for the hike!”
And then he was all, “Seriously though, does it concern you how out of shape you are? I mean, what would you have done if you were by yourself and there was an emergency?”
And I was all, “like what?”
And he was all, “Well if a bear attacked, what would you do?”
And I was all, “I’d lay down. I don’t fight bears and I don’t like to be chased. What would you do big man? Wrestle it?”
And he was all, “Well if I had the kids with me I would tell them to run and then I would sacrifice myself to buy them more time.”
And I was all, “Oh well you don’t actually have to be in any physical shape at all to allow a bear to eat you. So I guess I’m good.”
I suppose I learned a few things this week. I learned that the thing I hate most about hiking is the walking part. Particularly if any portion of the walking is done at any sort of incline. And I learned that you don’t need to be in any physical shape at all to sacrifice your life in a bear attack. So there’s really no point in me being physically fit like Mr. Crossfit over here.
But maybe most importantly I learned that starting a hike at 7pm on a school night is the worst possible idea and that any time someone says, “Don’t worry, it will be fun!” you should definitely probably worry. Especially if that someone is me.
We got home at 11pm after a late night Burger King dinner.
It’s okay.
I’m safe now.
Next time, I think we’ll opt to park in the parking lot that was DIRECTLY NEXT TO THIS LIGHTHOUSE.
It really was beautiful though.
BalancingMama (Julie) says
That sounds exactly like something my husband would get us into! I feel your pain.
Mama Kat says
He also said that he thinks the bear would really “savor” me because I don’t have as much lean muscle. That man is lucky I brought him back home with us after the hike.
Kimberly says
So I just had a revelation….
In order to be the family hero, I don’t have to be physically fit at all.
Dude….beer me….Cheetos me….ice cream me…wheel me that ottoman cause my dogs are barking from just looking at all those stairs — I’ve got some hero-ing to prepare myself for.
Mama Kat says
Exactly. You too can save lives by doing absolutely nothing. Bottoms up!
Ginny Marie says
I think you’re supposed to play dead if you see a bear, so I’d say you’ve got that covered!
Mama Kat says
See! I have plenty survival instincts!
Natalie says
After about the first 100 steps down, I would’ve realized that we’d have to climb back up ’em, and would’ve faked a twisted ankle or something to get out of the rest of it.
My favorite line: “the thing I hate most about hiking is the walking part.” Love it!
Mama Kat says
The thought of quitting definitely crossed my mind a number of times on the way down. Especially because the people coming back up were sweating buckets and panting. Not a good sign.
Jennifer says
Nothing outdoorsy or exercisey is as fun in actuality as it is in my mind.
Mama Kat says
I’m notorious for dreaming up wonderful scenarios that are never at all what I pictured in my head.
Michelle says
I love the conversation you had with your husband about the bear!
At least you got a good story out of the experience – that’s kind of fun, right?
Teresa (embracing the spectrum) says
Oh my gosh. What an adventure! I love that your husband says he’d sacrifice himself to a bear! Yeah right…
Kir says
I’m was with you from “I don’t even like hiking” …ummm, yes.
But you made me giggle…so there’s that. ;)
xo
Andrea says
I hate hiking. All it is is a walk on uneven ground, and it always takes much longer than you think. If wild animals are nearby I hate it more.. If you’re there for the scenery, remember that you can get pictures of any beautiful landscape on the internet. I’m glad you didn’t get eaten.
Jen E @ mommablogsalot says
Hiking always sounds good in theory and feels treacherous in real life.
May says
I’m not laughing AT you, I am laughing WITH you! You are able to laugh by now, right?!
Erin white says
Hike=no
SaltyBug says
I’m not sure what I’m laughing hardest at – your post which is hysterical, or the comments. LOL. Thank you for the laugh. I needed it today. Hilarious! Bears! ha, I’d try to give it a big cuddle – that’s ignorance I know, but spare me I come from a country we only have to worry about killer snakes and spiders, and the odd kangaroo gone crazy…
mzvanessa says
I used to like hiking. I haven’t been in so long, maybe I don’t like it now?
Those pictures are beautiful, so at least there’s that.