1. Share how life is different after having kids.
Kids changed my life drastically and I thought my list of ways life was different now would be more negative than it is, but I guess I really love them because I think for the most part they changed everything for the better. That didn’t sound very convincing, but I SWEAR motherhood was a good choice for me. Most of the time. Here are 5 ways my life changed after kids!:
1. I don’t nap anymore.
Before I had kids I napped. Like, actually slept during the daytime. And I don’t think I slept in that healthy way that busy people power nap to keep their brains sharp. I think I napped because I was bored. I would watch Oprah and then Dr. Phil next and then Passions after that. THREE SHOWS. Three HOUR LONG shows! Sometimes they lulled me to sleep. What was that life??
2. I eat healthier.
I used to eat handfuls of candy everyday. I had starbursts sitting in my purse at all times. It just occurred to me while writing this that I currently have an entire bag of Jolly Ranchers in my car, BUT I eat vegetable now and I didn’t before. I’m sure that has everything to do with setting a good example for my kids and nothing at all to do with my desire to lose 10 pounds for the last 20 years.
3. I do more stuff.
My desire to fill my kids lives with memories of roller skating and museums and sledding down mountains means we do a lot of things now that take up my Oprah/Dr. Phil/Passions/Napping time. I don’t think the trips we’ve taken to the ocean, to Idaho, to Disneyland…a lot of that would not have happened if I didn’t have them as an excuse to go.
4. I worry a thousand percent of the time.
I don’t remember being this worried before I had kids. What did I worry about? Death? Dinner plans? work I suppose? But having three lives that I reallllly want to keep healthy and happy forever has turned all of my hair grey.
5. My hair is grey now.
And why does grey hair have to take on a life of it’s own? I don’t mind the color so much, but why does it have to be wiry and coarse and untamed? Why can’t it just be soft, pretty, normal grey hair that I can dye? And why can’t it keep color when it’s dyed? I get my hair done and I swear one week later it’s back and it’s laughing at me.
There was a time when I would have said now that I have kids I don’t get a full night of sleep. This used to be a HUGE area of concern for me. How I longed for 4 or more hours of consecutive sleep. I could have cried at how I missed sleeping and waking up at my leisure, not because a child was breathing heavily at the end of my bed or a baby was screaming from a bedroom with saturated diaper. I would have to get up and instantly be in service mode. Change the diaper, prepare the breakfast, pick out the clothes, change the clothes, find the toys, and on and on and on. And I would have to be nice about it. Even though my kids kept me up all night and then got up to play at 6am, I couldn’t hold it against them or be mad at them because little kids are stupid and don’t even realize you need to sleep or have a purpose outside of keeping them comfortable. I think that part of motherhood is when I wanted to cry for mercy the most. That lack of sleep makes you a monster.
But my kids are older now and I get sleep. I wake up at my leisure on the weekends. They feed themselves. They use actual toilets. It’s really quite lovely.
To any mom out there struggling with small kids and babies I offer these words of encouragement…it gets better. Fourteen years from now you will sleep again and that’s a promise.
VandyJ says
My boys are old enough now that they don’t interrupt my sleep, but now I’m old enough to have insomnia. Lovely. and my oldest will start impacting my sleep as he is participating in high school sports and needs Mom’s Taxi service.
John Holton says
Funny, my hair was kind of wiry and coarse before I started going gray (in my mid-30’s, by the way) and now it’s softer and easier to control. And I still have most of mine…
Abby says
All these ways, so true.
I can usually tell if a person has kids or not within minutes of meeting and talking to them. Childless lives/priorities are so different from mine!
“They use actual toilets’ – I laughed. Out loud.