4. Write a blog post inspired by the word: again.
Every year on this day since Maile turned four I have been wishing her a happy birthday here. When she was four she was attached to my leg. In fact, both her and Laina were particularly shy when we were out and about. I never had to worry about them running off, but I always felt bad that they weren’t more confident. Maile in particular would take longer to warm up to people, but I always felt I knew exactly what she was feeling. Being an introvert myself, I could relate to her shyness. I allowed her to dip away from people and give her time to venture out when she felt comfortable. I didn’t want to force her into being more social than she wanted, but I always encouraged her to come out of her shell when she was ready.
Over the years I think I felt a bit lucky that I got to be in that inner circle of people who witnessed her goofy and creative personality everyday. And not just IN the inner circle, but as the stay home mom, I was an integral part of that inner circle solar system. She needed me. In fact, I could not fathom how she might ever function in life without me. And then it happened.
It was gradual of course. It started with drivers ed and formal dances with boys. It turned into slumber parties with girlfriends and late nights on the phone. And then it became the whole grunting thing on the way home when I asked how her day was. Piece by piece, my leg clutching daughter was turning into the kind of teenager other moms warned me about. The kind of teenager who doesn’t want her mom to know everything. The kind of teenager who is annoyed at all of her mom’s well-intentioned questions. The kind of teenager who turns off the tracking app on her phone so that her mom cannot peek in to make sure she is where she says she’ll be at all times.
And most devastatingly she has turned into the kind of teenager who…gasp…WANTS TO MOVE OUT. I do not know why I was so ill-prepared for this. I was warned. I saw it happen to friends and most importantly, I WAS A TEENAGER. I left. It was great! I should be proud of the fact that she has all of the confidence and intelligence to survive this big bad world. That was the goal! She is ready! I have done my job well.
And yet here I am now clutching HER proverbial leg. Because although I have always marveled at how much my kids are needy for their mama, the truth is I’m the one who needs them. What is my day without them?
The good news is, she’s 17. I have one more year to figure out how to let go of her leg. For now, I’m just happy to celebrate her birthday again.
Happy 17th birthday Maile!
Happy Fourth Birthday
Happy Fifth Birthday
Happy Sixth Birthday
Happy Seventh Birthday
Happy Eighth Birthday
Happy Ninth Birthday
Happy Tenth Birthday
Happy Eleventh Birthday
Happy Twelfth Birthday
Happy Thirteenth Birthday
Happy Fifteenth Birthday
Cathy Kennedy says
Kat,
It’s been a long time to play along and it comes at a time just before I’m taking time off from blogging for vacation but I hope to resume your writing prompts in a few weeks. Your post is heart clutching. I experienced these same feelings, instead of having one child leave the nest we got double whammed with both our daughters moving out together. That day has to be one of my sadness mommy moments ever! It took me weeks, months to accept we were almost empty-nesters. Our son was 13 at the time so I was glad for that much and when it was his time to leave while it was hard for me, it wasn’t nearly devastating as the first time. In fact, it was rather liberating. Of course, I miss those early days spent with our kiddoes and wish to have those moments back a little longer but I did what I was supposed to do and this is just the natural path our children needed to take. Now, I get to enjoy being a grandmother to a sweet little girl who I know will grow up as fast as her mama did. Thanks for sharing and happy birthday to your daughter!
John Holton says
You’ve raised a very beautiful young woman. Happy birthday, Maile!
Chances are she won’t move that far away, unless she wants to move to Vegas and be a showgirl. It’s tough, though. Remember, she’s not moving to get away from you, she’s just ready for the next phase. Does she have college/university intentions?
Mama Kat says
If she moves far away from me, I promise you I will find a time share or an apartment or something and live half of my life right down the street from her. She can run but she can’t hide! I can take my job on the road. She’s unsure about college and doesn’t think she should go until she has a certain path in mind, but we’re still going through all the steps to apply for scholarships and things.
madamdreamweaver says
Wow, she’d turned into quite a knock-out!
Mama Kat says
She’s really a cutie! :)
Donetta says
Oh My Gosh: She’s stunning! Teenage daughters are both a blessing and curse at times. My oldest turned 18 in July & my youngest will be 15 this January. Time flies…
Mama Kat says
Yeah you feel my pain. Maile is 17 and Laina is 15…Kainoa at 13 still buys me some time!
Patty says
Maile is precious, Kat!
As heart wrenching as it might be, those “baby steps” she will take, out your front door on the way to permanent adulthood, are so difficult for you but probably terrifying for Maile…not that she’s likely to admit that!
We all go through it with our kids, that blend of wanting them to grow the heck up and move along to…not wanting to cut the cord or peel them from our leg. Trust me, you have raised your children well and given them a solid foundation. They’ll stumble, trip and fall but…in the end, they will definitely fly!
Happy, Happy Birthday to Maile!!
Mama Kat says
Thank you! I hope my kids always know they have a soft place to land here. That’s something that has always made me feel safe. Worst come to worst I still have my mom to go to!
Trudy says
This brought back memories of my daughter growing up and leaving the nest. Now she is a wife and mother giving me little grand babies to cuddle, coddle, and worry over.
Mama Kat says
I so look forward to seeing how our family grows with grandbabies. You can bet I’ll volunteer to babysit as often as possible!
Paula Kiger says
This is so lovely, Kat (as is she). Fun fact: I have been pronouncing her name wrong all these years. I just looked it up (thanks, Tammy Duckworth, for naming your kid that and making people ask on the internet!).
Mama Kat says
Ha! I always think Maile’s name is so obvious until people start calling her “Mail”. Yeah it’s the Hawaiian version of Miley Cyrus. lol