1. Share a college memory.
When I lived alone for the first time I thought I would stop wearing pants. Everyone talks about how great it is to not wear pants. How wonderful to walk around your domain completely butt naked.
I wanted to try it. I wanted to join the pant less community! After growing up in a fairly conservative household, I wanted to BE FREE! I too, would be going pant less.
When I moved to Eastern Washington as a Junior in college I had my first experience living completely alone.
I had big plans for my time on my own! I planned to buy Twinkies. Boxes and boxes of Twinkies. I planned to eat the Twinkies whenever I wanted and I would have as many as I wanted when the mood struck. I planned to eat the Twinkies on my couch while watching Real World reruns, Survivor, and Dateline.
And if I wanted? I would do it all without pants! I have heard this is where my pant less friends find true joy.
Would it have killed my mother to pay for cable in my new apartment alone? Kind of hard to eat Twinkies with Keith Morrison if I can’t even get him to show up on my screen.
I gave up my Twinkie eating dreams when I realized how much a box of those cost. My very part time job certainly did not support the diet of my dreams.
And going without pants? Walking nonchalantly through my apartment naked?
Yeah I tried it.
I have determined pant less lovers are out of their minds. I would hop out of the shower with every intention of sauntering around…taking time putting clothes back on, maybe check my dial up Juno email account…but the moment that water stopped running my brain would only think about putting clothes back on. Put your clothes back on. Put your clothes back on. What are you doing right now without clothes? PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!
I couldn’t turn it off.
I had to face the harsh reality that I would never be a naked person. I would always prefer walking around with pants on. I held on to the hope that someday I would be able to afford to eat boxes of endless Twinkies, but it has become clear that will never be a reality for me either. In a sick twist of fate I am now able to afford them financially, but am not in the shape to afford them metabolically.
Nothing is as I thought it would be.
Do you wear pants?