Writer’s Workshop: You Don’t Help Me

2. Write a poem inspired by the last conversation you had with your child.

help me

I called you my sensitive one, because you cried.
So many feelings going on inside.

I knew I could help you. “I’m her mom!” I said.
“I know everything going on in that little head!”

My life became a mission to make you smile
And to keep it planted there awhile.

I swung you and swayed you, swaddled and soothed you.
So many nights paced, patted and cooed you.

We baked and we chased, we sang and we raced.
If I could keep your life fun, it would stay on your face.

But the older you got, the less you were sleeping
How could I stop your worry from creeping?

Girls days spent shopping, quick errand hopping,
bubble gum popping, ice cream treat stopping.

Little dog walking, board games and hiding,
Trips to the zoo and weekends horse riding.

Reading new books and spoiling you rotten.
Praying your fears would soon be forgotten.

Crashing waves, mental health days,
Crawling through the dark by your side I lay.

I tried my girl, but there’s darkness brewing.
Nothing I can coax will keep you from stewing.

All these years later the tears are still steady.
I guess I thought you’d stop, when you were ready.

In silence I think back, did I do all I could do?
“You don’t help me”, you say. And then I cry too.

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1. Share the last five items you pinned, choose one and let it inspire a blog post.
2. Write a poem inspired by the last conversation you had with your child.
3. List 7 things you would rather do than clean your bathroom.
4. Write a blog post inspired by the word: help
5. Describe someone in your life you wish you saw more of.
6. Pinterest inspired! Share a pin you actually tried. How did it go?

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Unlimited Grapes

dinner

When I was growing up I did not have unlimited access to food. If I was hungry I had to ask for a snack but 50% of the time the answer was, “Good! Then you’ll be hungry for dinner!”

Part of the reason for this was because there are six kids in my family. Can you imagine what your food pantry would look like at the end of each day if all six of your kids had unlimited access to the Oreos? Not to mention I’m fairly certain we were poor. Which is why I was always asking my cousin to steal food from her house and/or force her to beg our neighbors for candy. Much of my early childhood days were spent attempting to secure sweet treats for myself without alerting my mother in any way whatsoever. Fly under the radar with cookies, that’s all I asked for in life.

I remember in college, babysitting my coach’s kids one evening, and she told me what to make them for dinner and said, “of course if they’re hungry before that they can grab some grapes from the refrigerator.” And sure enough there was a big bowl of washed grapes on a shelf they could reach in the refrigerator!

UNLIMITED GRAPES!

It was then that I decided food was not going to be a big deal in my house with my future kids. They will always have unlimited grapes. If they say they’re hungry, they can eat. Open kitchen, 24 hours a day and I don’t care if it ruins their appetite for dinner.

in the kitchen

And they do eat. They eat the unlimited grapes and the sliced apples. They eat the cheese sticks and crackers. And they eat all the cookies.

Not to mention I’m fairly certain we’re poor.

The other day I asked my 9 yr old if she was eating candy for breakfast before school…she gave me a thumbs up and walked away.

Maybe my Mom’s way was better after all.

Writer’s Workshop: Melt My Cold Heart

The last time my heart melted was because while checking over my son’s first grade homework I found a note written by him at the bottom that said, “I miss you mom.”

A photo posted by Kat Bouska (@mamakatslosinit) on

This year has been a little tough for him because he has a teacher that runs a tight ship. It’s a tough line to walk as a teacher because while kids like my little guy definitely need to know who’s boss, they also need to feel…liked? I think his teacher means well, but I don’t think he feels liked. There’s a slump about him this year that he didn’t have last year.

Going To School

I’m sure part of that is because he has to learn to harness his energy a little more and it’s not an easy task when you prefer bouncing off the walls. He’ll get there. I’m just glad I don’t have to fight him about going, Lord knows I’ve got more than I can handle of that already.

school blues

I do feel very lucky with him though because he wants me to take him to school everyday and this year I can actually do that. In the past I’ve had too many daycare kids to round up and I always missed out on the school drop off thing. Now, I walk all of the kids to the bus, wave goodbye, and then drive Kainoa to school just the two of us. He’s the only one who has made this special request and I happily oblige knowing full well that someday soon this mama’s boy of mine will find his stride and shoo me away.

In the mean time, the subtle messages at the bottom of his worksheets and his off handed remarks about school will continue to melt my cold heart.

kainoa

“Today is Suuuunday. Tomorrow is Monday and I don’t want to gooooooo to school…”

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1. The last time my heart melted was because…
2. A list of 20 ideas to make this your best year yet.
3. List your top 10 favorite apps currently.
4. Write a blog post inspired by the word: Drunk
5. If you could have given yourself a snapshot five years ago of what your life is like now, what would the picture be of and how do you think you would have felt about it?
6. The best part of my day is…

Link up!:



A Lesson That Needs To Be Learned…Still

lesson of a dollar

My kids, like all kids, beg for new things all the time. Candy, toys, clothes, food…they want it all.

I’ve waited 9 whole years for them to start to comprehend what it means when I pull out my wallet to buy something for them.

The latest obsession is a pair of Toms shoes to match an outfit.

me: I don’t mind buying you new shoes, but I’m not buying them just so you have something to match an outfit.

Laina: No, I’ll wear them with many outfits! Can we buy them right now?

me: I don’t know…I think I’ll about it. Maybe I’ll order them.

Laina: Ugh!! Why can’t we go NOW?

me: Because Laina, I’m going to have to think about that and I don’t really have money for that right now.

Laina: Just use your debit or credit cards!

me: How do you think money gets on those cards? I have to put money on them…and how do you think I put money on them? I have to work! It will take me 3 hours of working on my computer to pay for a pair of shoes! (not exactly)

There always has to be that one last push on behalf of the child to make the parent completely lose their cool. That one last comment that stops you in your tracks and turns your annoyed argument into A Lesson That Needs To Be Learned. This happened for me when Laina said:

“Well then go work for three hours and let’s go!”

To which I turned and was all, “Oh that sounds really fair Laina! Let me go sit down and work for three hours so that you can have shoes and a new outfit! When is the last time you worked for three hours? You can’t even clean your own room! But you have no problem asking ME to work for YOUR outfit.”

And then the house was quiet.

The lesson was being learned.

I high fived myself.

This morning Maile was all “I don’t have to have new shoes with my outfit mom. I heard what you said to Laina last night and it made me sad.”

VICTORY!!!

Finally these kids were starting to understand this concept of work. I was being appreciated! My work was being validated!

And then Laina followed up with, “can we buy the dogs an outfit?” and also “I can buy my own shoes because Daddy owes me 30 dollars for feeding the cats this month.”

And I was all, “you fed the cats once. Daddy offered to pay you for doing chores everyday of the month…including cleaning the play room.”

And she was all, “I did clean the play room.”

And I was all, “Once.”

And she raised her eyebrows at me like “seeeeeeee!”

I’m making headway on the “Value Of A Dollar Lesson” with the wrong kid.

…the other one is cleaning her room right now….I think.

lesson of a dollar2

The Elf Will Be Back

walk in the snow

I bought an Elf On The Shelf last year for a video I did to determine whether or not it was a win or a fail. My conclusion was that it was a win, but that I know myself well enough to know that I would never remember to move the little fella.

This year it came out with my decor and Laina honed in on it, “Who put the elf on the kitchen counter?”

Over the course of the week the Elf has kind of been strewn about the house by various humans and dogs and every time Laina sees it she wants to know how it got there.

In the hallway. On the stairs. Under the dining room table.

It didn’t take long for Maile to realize that Laina thought the Elf might be moving ON IT’S OWN.

And then it magically started moving more.

Everything came to a head when Laina found the Elf in her dollhouse while the family was downstairs. Maile acted shocked and innocent while Laina and Kainoa freaked out.

At bedtime Laina was sobbing because just knowing the Elf was in the vicinity was scaring her. No amount of reasoning or convincing that her sister had been up to no good was helping. Laina wanted the Elf OUT.

I promised to throw it in the garbage and had every intention of doing so, but when I left her room and tracked down the Elf, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I mean, I PAID for that thing. So instead I stuck it in a storage box in my closet.

A box that I can’t imagine will be opened for years to come because it’s one of those types of boxes you don’t look in unless you’re moving everything out.

But when the time DOES come…the Elf will be back, and Laina is in for a real treat.

elf on the shelf

Writer’s Workshop: Boys Who Love

live here

1. Write a post, poem, or story about something you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving I’m thankful my son is going to live here forever whether I let him out of his room or not.

Whether he likes it or not.

And I’m thankful that he loves baby kittens.

Because small boys who love baby kittens grow up to be loving men.

Even though I rehomed the baby kitten.

What happens to small boys when their mothers give away the baby kittens they loved?

What kind of men do they turn into?

MY GOD SOMEONE GET THAT KITTEN BACK!

A video posted by Kat Bouska (@mamakatslosinit) on

And have a wonderfully Happy Thanksgiving!

Now it’s your turn!

 

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!! The Prompts: 1. Write a post, poem, or story about something you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving. 2. Your Homecoming dance dress. 3. Write about your favorite place to eat when you were a child. 4. Ask your child to draw a portrait of you or your family and share it with us. 5. Write a story in exactly 101 words.

Writer’s Workshop: Your Future Dog Choice

lainas future dog

1. Tell us about an argument you witnessed.

I overheard my daughters arguing because each of them said something mean about the others future, non existent dog choice.

To be clear, they have each chosen the breed of dog they will have when they are grown and they have each insulted the others decision.

Maile chose a German Shepard.

GermanShepherd1

Laina said a German Shepard was too big.

Laina chose a Bull Dog.

bull dog

Maile said a Bull Dog was small and fat and would never protect her.

Laina came in crying and I honestly thought her sister must have been really ganging up on her the way she was carrying on.

I found the arguing so ridiculous that I threatened to send them each a future Chinese Crested hairless mongrel if they didn’t knock it off.

3_chinese_crested_hairless_dogs

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1. Tell us about an argument you witnessed.
2. Share a Thanksgiving recipe you will be cooking up this month.
3. Write a haiku about what you see out your window.
4. Five Things. List 5 things we don’t know about you, 5 things you’re knowledgeable about, 5 things you know nothing about, and 5 things you believe.
5. Tell us the story of how your pet came to be a member of your family.

Link Up: