I Feel The Same Way About Vodka

ice cream makes me sleepy

Kainoa was pretty lethargic after a trip for ice cream and I was all, “what’s going on little buddy? Not feeling good?”

And he was all, “that ice cream makes me sleepy, ’cause I get up HIGH and then I go down low and it makes me sleepy.”

“I know what you mean,” I said, “I feel the same way about vodka.”

After Seven Years Of Catholic School

I overheard Laina educating her little brother about how God is Jesus and I found the conversation interesting purely because church attendance on behalf of our family has been spotty at best over the course of Laina’s life. I felt I should probably interject,

“Well Laina, actuallllllly…God is not Jesus…well what I mean is that God is our father, the son, and also the Holy Spirit. One entity. You know what an “entity” is right Laina? Yes, one entity that is actually three very important parts. Would it be easier for you to understand if we referred to all three parts of that entity as The Holy Trinity? So you’re right in that God is Jesus…or I mean Jesus is God…well like a part of God, or that God is in Jesus. In all of us? I think. Okay wait, let’s start over, ahem, in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth….”

This is a fun conversation to have with kids when after seven years of Catholic school education you still don’t really know what the heck you’re talking about.

I think I like her simplified version better. Why do we have to grow up and complicate everything?

god is jesus

Writer’s Workshop: I Tackle You

1.) How do your kids remind you of your own siblings growing up?

little brother

When I was young we wrestled.

Your shoulder brushed mine a little too firmly as you pass me in the hallway?

I tackle you.

My Mom did her best to control us, but when you have six kids and they’re preoccupied with tackling each other in the play room, well…you thank God you have some time to yourself and you finish another load of laundry.

As we got older my brother was particularly annoying. When he wanted to annoy us he would walk right up, put his finger inches away from our faces and repeat, “I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you,”

And it’s true, he wasn’t touching us, but was baiting us into hitting him so that he could have a reason to fight. We had to use all the mental energy it took to ignore him and/or try to beat him at his own game.

Kainoa is a lot like his uncle when it comes to pestering the crap out of his sisters. And unlike my own mother, I can’t really tune out the wrestling so that kind of physical contact is basically forbidden. I also don’t put up with mean names. Where “stupid, dork, dummy, and loser” were common vernacular when I was young, here they are not tolerated.

The water got murky on name calling when Maile was about four years old, she called her sister a name and then told me she was talking to the wall.

“You’re MEAN and you’re a BABY!….I’m talking to da wall mom.”

Kainoa makes up names to call people that really wouldn’t be all that offensive if he wasn’t dripping with venom as he screamed them. “Oh yeah!?! Well you’re a CRY DIAPER!!!”

I was stuck in the car with the kids during a recent verbal battle and listened in as the girls had enough of their pestering brother and brought the name calling to a new, interesting level, “Okay Chelsea. Whatever you say…”

“Yeah Chelsea.”

“Buckle your seat belt Chelsea.”

Naturally I had to step in, “Girls, why are you calling your brother Chelsea? That’s hurting his feelings.”

(A conversation I never would have imagined having pre-kids)

“BECAUSE…he does mean and horrible things to us to make us angry!”

And then Kainoa was all, “No! You’re the mean ones!”

And they were all, “Whatever CHELSEA.”

And he was all, “Okay Barbie! Okay Skipper! Go back to your house Barbie and Skipper!”

And as the mom I know I need to be mature and squash this ridiculous name calling, but Barbie and Skipper? This was so good!

I wish I could say I was able to sit the children down and have a good talk about how we treat each other. But I never really learned how to do that.

I just tackled them instead.

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) How do your kids remind you of your own siblings growing up?
2.) What grade is your child going to be in? Share a memory you have of yourself at that same age.
3.) List 6 things you are going to miss about summer.
4.) Write a blog post inspired by the words: whoops.
5.) Tell us about something somebody did that made you happy.



Mom, Can You Go To New York?

“Mom when are you going back to New York? Because if you go, can you go to Times Square? They have the Tsum Tsums I want.”

I’ve been to New York exactly once in my life.

But I see now that another trip is imperative so that my daughter can fill any remaining empty space in her room with these:

tsum

Anything for my sweet angel!!

Writer’s Workshop: A New Friend

1.) A new friend.

Laina made a new friend this year and I’ve been baffled at how quickly they claimed each other.

According to Laina, Erica just walked up to her and asked her if she wanted to be best friends.

Laina said yes and they’ve been talking on the phone ever since.

I use the term “talking” loosely here.

The other day Laina was walking around with the phone.

She set it down, poured a bowl of cereal, grabbed a spoon and a glass of milk.

She sat there eating her food in silence and finally I was all, “Is Erica on the phone?”

And she was all, “Yeah. Why?”

And I was all, “Well you aren’t even talking to her…what is she doing?”

And then Laina shouted into the speaker, “ERICA???”

And Erica was all, “Yeah?”

And Laina was all, “What are you doing?”

And Erica was all, “Skating.”

She looked at me and shrugged.

Put another spoonful of Cheerios in her mouth.

Continued to sit in silence.

Man. Some of us have to wait years for friendship to reach that comfort level.

Anyone want to roller skate while I eat my cereal this morning?

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) A new friend.
2.) Book review!
3.) Do you “unplug” during the summer months? Why or why not?
4.) Something you got to do when you were young that you would not let your children do.
5.) List your top 12 solutions for bored children.



And Now Seven

I sometimes refer to Kainoa as my lovable Great Dane.

He’s got limbs for days so on the outside he appears to be a big dog, but on the inside he’s still a pup in training. He’ll still knock over your unsuspecting baby. If we’re on our way to visit I will call ahead and have you wrap up your fine China and secure your wall hangings.

I prepped his Kindergarten teacher for his arrival by making jokes about the number of margaritas I would owe her at the end of the year.

About halfway through she was all, “You were wrong about him! He might still be learning about rules and classroom dynamics, but he’s got such spirit! I hope he never changes!”

When Kainoa was four I wrote that “He is intent only on finding joy in everything he does.”

And it’s still true. He wants to have a good time.

He hasn’t changed.

I just wish his mission to find joy did not also include breaking everything he touches. Or a diet of only sugar. And I wish talking about punching me in the face did not bring him so much joy.

We’re still working on some things.

kainoa seven

Happy seventh birthday Kainoa!

You turned one.
You turned two.
You turned three.
You turned four.
You turned five.
You turned six.

Writer’s Workshop: Gone To Hawaii

2.) Throwback Thursday! Find and share an old photo and let it inspire a blog post.

We haven’t gone to Hawaii to visit family since 2007.

Hawaii FLight

Maile was three, Laina was almost two, and I was five months pregnant.

hawaii girls

Laina was meeting the ocean for the first time.

hawaii beach

But she refused to go near it or off the towel at all because sand.

hawaii crying

I felt overwhelmed because toddlers are difficult no matter how cute they are and did I mention I was pregnant?

hawaii pregnant

Don’t let that smile and carefully cradled belly fool you, I actually had a personal meltdown on this trip after Laina kicked me in the head for the fourth time as she resisted being strapped into a car seat. My internal dialogue went something like this,

“This is it…this is my life. Stuck on a towel with a screaming child who kicks me in the head…did I really choose this life? Is this forever? I’m just a glorified nanny to these children for the rest of my life…what have I done?”

And then I responded to myself with something like, “YOU CHOSE THIS! EVERY BIT OF IT! NOW BUCK UP!”

hawaii laina

I guess I kept my hormonal pregnant breakdown quiet because I can’t find one picture of myself crying…although I imagine it would have looked something like this:

hawaii crying

And then Kainoa was born, and after six years of raising that boy we’ve finally decided to bring him to his homeland. Out of utero. We have a family reunion to attend this summer and naturally I thought going for 3 weeks seemed logical…considering at the rate we’re going we won’t see the island again until Kainoa moves there to play volleyball for the state university.

Prepare yourself for a lot of really obnoxious palm tree posts. The only thing I’ll be carefully cradling this time is a margarita. Which is as it should be when you’re on vacation with small children. Or at all.

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) A taste of summer…
2.) Throwback Thursday! Find and share an old photo and let it inspire a blog post.
3.) Tell us about the last movie you saw…do you recommend it?
4.) Something your family did to celebrate Father’s Day.
5.) List 7 things you’d rather be doing this summer.