Are We Feminists Now?

beyonce feminist vmas

I wouldn’t consider myself a feminist by any means. I certainly don’t appreciate being passed over for being a girl or being stereotyped as the one who takes on certain roles in the household purely because I’m The Woman. And of course I believe in equality of all humans, but I know I’m setting the women’s movement back every time I claim I’m “too weak” to do a job that consists of manual labor simply because I don’t want to do it.

Or I’ll ask my husband to please please PLEASE fix the cracked dry wall because I’m just a girl and that’s Man’s Work.

I walk both lines.

But it feels weird to watch women wear next to nothing and dance seductively to seductive music and then claim feminism.

It took me awhile to process how sexualizing yourself in that way might be a Pro-girl kind of thing to do. Women often talk about the double standards where men are allowed to sleep around, objectify all the things, sexualize all the things and get applauded for it, while women are put down for exhibiting any of that same behavior.

When Beyonce gets on stage, puts on a ten minute booty shaking performance and then takes a stand for feminism at the end, are we supposed to be all “Get it girl! We can be sexual and be proud and raunchy too!”?

Problem is, I never much liked the men that did that in the first place.

kanye west

Is it feminist to sexualize yourself in that way because you’re in control and calling the shots? Or is it anti-feminist because you’re objectifying yourself in the exact way we’ve been asking men to STOP doing for the past hundred plus years?

Or maybe it really has nothing to do with sexuality at all. If being a feminist means you believe you can be whoever you want to be and support equality of women in a world dominated by men…maybe it’s possible to promote that message AND dance seductively on stage.

Are we feminists now? I honestly don’t know.

Maybe Beyonce doesn’t know either.

princess bride

To make matters even more hypocritical, after watching the confusing performance and while spending some time thinking about what feminism actually IS…I purchased three of the overtly sexual songs she sang during her raunchy performance. Because…CATCHY!

I guess this is where I continue straddling both sides. Maybe Beyonce straddles both sides too.

beyonce vma blow

It really is a catchy song.

Should Parents Smoke Pot

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Pot smoking was legalized in Washington State and back when we voted for this I really didn’t have an opinion one way or another. I’ve been listening to my pothead friends debate the topic of legalization since high school, so when it showed up on the ballots I thought they would be thrilled. And they are. All that time they spent rationalizing that drug finally paid off.

On Mommalogues one of the questions we answered was should parents smoke pot in places where it’s legal, and now that it’s been legal here for awhile, I finally have an opinion:

(video here)

Maybe I just need to start carrying Febreeze on my person.

Other topics covered on Mommalogues this week:

Are beauty and fitness obsessed moms setting a bad example for their daughters?
Be honest: How much exercise do you get?
Describe your child’s most embarrassing meltdown.

A Cringe Worthy Week

Well last week was cringe worthy!

I received a Stitch Fix box and while filming the unboxing realized one of the items had a Nordstrom Rack tag on it. Stitch Fix had priced the item for me to purchase at $68, but the Nordstrom Rack tag said $24.97. The video shows the precise moment I notice the error and then my reaction.

Adweek ran the story with a response from Stitch Fix. And my view of the internet went a little crazy.

I don’t like being the person that caused the “uproar”, but I felt compelled to share it with friends after encouraging people to try the service in previous unboxings. I’m not sorry for sharing, but I do wish the whole thing had never happened and that I could continue subscribing without the knowledge that I could get the items at Nordstrom Rack for much less.

And if that were not cringe worthy enough, I watched a Mommalogues video compilation where we were asked to talk about a time where we stood up for an unpopular belief.

I chose to talk about when Britney Spears was “having a tough time” and how I always believed in her even though she was a “hot mess” for awhile.

Very funny (and true), but imagine my horror when I looked to the sidebar and discovered who our celeb mom blogger of the month was.

unpopular belief

Jamie Lynn Spears.

Britney’s little sister.

Of all the months to talk about Britney’s “tough time”, I had to choose this one.

Definitely had no idea JLS was the celeb mom blogger.

Definitely cringing (and also laughing, because seriously? Only *I* would do something like that).

This week though, things are looking up! I’m starting off on the right foot with a brand new site re-design thanks to the wonderful Cyn at NWDesigns! I emailed her with something like, “Hey there! I’m tired of the red, my sidebar is broken and I need a cleaner look to my site. Please help, but if you need any direction at all you’ll need to ask Fran from SITS Girls because she knows what I want better than I know what I want.”

Now my site looks nothing like my site, but I love it.

It’s good to start fresh every once in awhile!

Other less cringe worthy Mommalogues topics include:

Would you rather snuggle with your kids or your pet?
How do you talk to your kids about stranger danger?
What is too young to start kids in competitive sports?
Would you let your son identify as a girl?

Writer’s Workshop: Words From Otto Frank

1.) A quote from someone that has stuck with you.

Yesterday I talked about reading The Fault In Our Stars and there was one part of the book that I thought was really interesting. The two main characters, Hazel and Augustus, visit the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam and describe an interview with Anne’s father Otto Frank that is played on a TV as you walk through the house.

He talked about his reaction to Anne’s diary and there was a quote that struck me. Otto Frank said, “I must say, I was very much surprised by the deep thoughts Anne had….it was quite a different Anne I had known as my daughter. She never really showed this kind of inner feeling. And my conclusion is, since I had been in very good terms with Anne, that most parents don’t know really their children.”

I knew I was supposed to be paying attention to the love story unfolding between Hazel and Augustus, but I had never heard Otto Frank speak of Anne’s diary before. It’s crazy to me that at one point I felt so connected to Anne, reading her diary around the same age she was when she wrote it. But here I find myself for the first time relating as a parent.

I’ve been struggling all year to figure out what’s going on in the head of my tween. I’ve always prided myself for knowing her better than anyone. She’s mine. I’ve raised her. I can tell you exactly what her intentions are and I’ll be the first to tell you she’s too shy to speak up for herself. I’ve spent nearly every day of her life with her. I know her completely.

But when I read those words from Otto Frank my mind skipped to that smile I saw my daughter flash her best friend as they both bowed their heads and giggled in response to something I said. An inside joke. I know that flash. I have those girlfriends too.

It has clicked. Otto Frank is right. I only know the version of her she wants to show me.

(video here)

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) A quote from someone that has stuck with you.
2.) List 13 things you love about vacation.
3.) Public speaking.
4.) Something you got away with.
5.) If your family were dogs, what breed would each of them be?

Writer’s Workshop: Got It From Heather Dubrow

5.) List 10 things you love about your favorite show.

The other day my sister saw me pull my son aside and say, “I need you to calm down…take it down a notch buddy. You’re up here…and I need you down here.”

And I was very calm and I did this thing with my hand where it would be up high and then go down low…it represented crazy UP HERE and then down here not so crazy. I needed him down here.

When he wildly ran off she was all, “that’s so funny I say the same thing to my kids and use that exact same hand motion, like it’s time to shut it down…up here is crazy and down here we’re shutting it down. Calm. down.”

“I’m bored with this.”

“I’m done.”

And I was all, “I wonder if I got it from you…” and she was all, “yeah I don’t know, maybe I got it from you.”

And then I looked at her and I was all, “Oh my gosh I think we both got it from Heather Dubrow!”

I didn’t need to say anymore because we’re big fans of the Housewives franchises and she knew exactly what I was talking about.

Heather Dubrow IS the 10 things I love about the Real Housewives! Still.:

heather dubrow calm down
heather dubrow bored with this
heather dubrow juvenile
heather dubrow amused
heather dubrow cerebral

heather dubrow sisterhood

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heather dubrow annoyed

heather dubrow truth

heather dubrow down and dirty

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) Let’s reminisce about the last trip you took…pictures please!
2.) Ask a parent to describe what you were like as a small child (under the age of 7), do you still have the same tendencies?
3.) Begin with “I wish someone told me…”
4.) Write a poem about a fight you or someone you love has struggled to win.
5.) List 10 things you love about your favorite show.

Writer’s Workshop: Pilgrims Are So Jealous

3.) A Happy Thanksgiving wish!

I wonder what the early pilgrims would have thought if someone had told them that someday…hundreds of years from now…there would be children in Cookie Monster shirts wearing construction paper hats to look JUST like them gathering together at school to eat deli turkey and popcorn as a way to pay homage to the “First Thanksgiving”.

I wonder if the pilgrims would be like, “huh? Turkey isn’t even ON our table, we eat deer with our bare hands…where’s your deer carcass??”

And maybe they’d be like “we don’t even wear those God awful hats, Thanksgiving is a multicultural community festival to celebrate our yearly harvest…not just for family!”

And we’d be all, “Sssshhhh…deer carcasses are for barbarians. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for family and the internet and you will wear your black buckled top hats because it’s part of our tradition now dammit! We also require a four day weekend filled with new movie releases, copious amounts of pumpkin pie and shopping all night long. Just a few improvements we’ve made since you were last here.”

The pilgrims would be like, “You’re missing the entire point!”

The pilgrims are so jealous!

I’m thankful they started this whole thing because FOUR DAY WEEKEND!

Happy Thanksgiving, my multicultural community!


Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) 10 best things about being a kid.
2.) A Thanksgiving memory.
3.) A Happy Thanksgiving wish!
4.)You saw it on Pinterest…does it really work?
5.) Something you’re thankful for…might as well keep this going this month!

Football and the Hot Wings

Football is big in Seattle right now because the Seahawks are actually good and nothing brings a city together like a reason to drink and a winning streak. I don’t watch football and for a long time have been convinced that there is no way women enjoy the game. I honestly believed that women who claim to love football were only trying to be attractive to men.

The problem is, some of my very good girlfriends really get into football and I know they don’t care enough about men to fake their interest in the game, so MAYBE I WAS WRONG. It’s possible. I mean, it’s never happened before but maybe this one time.

And at the very worst, what if I was right and women really DON’T like football. Maybe they’re just in it for the hot wings and celebrations and the camaraderie. Where’s the harm in that? Who cares? I love hot wings. Why have I been depriving myself of football and the hot wings?

We had the game on yesterday and I sat there thinking about how those men beat themselves up for a living. I wonder if any of them ice their injuries in the morning and seriously second guess their career choice. “Professional football? What was I thinking…should have been an accountant like my father…”

You would have to get tired of getting tackled by other giant men right? Sometimes I wake up and think about all the cleaning and cooking and household managing I need to do and I just don’t have my act together. I wonder if these players ever wake up and go, “Ughhhh…so NOT in the mood to get tackled todayyyyy…”

Personally, I just can’t imagine how someone might get themselves in shape for the kind of activity that occurs on the football field.

Me: How long do you think I would last out there if I suited up for a game?

Pat: What do you mean…like…playing professional football?

Me: Yeah, like if they were like “we need one housewife to suit up for this game and participate with us today”.

Pat: *insert laughter* Kat…you would pee your pants on the SIDELINES of the game.

Me: Really? You don’t think if I was all suited up like that…I could last a few plays?

Pat: You would be running so scared. *insert Pat doing his best impression of a high pitched woman screaming ‘please don’t hurt me’*.

Me: You think even just one hit would take me out of the game?

Pat: Yes.

Me: Even with the gear?

Pat: Yes. Kat have you ever been hit like that before?

Me: No. But look at them, they just get tackled all day and keep going.

Pat: You would need an ambulance.

I guess I’ll stick to daydreaming about the players personal lives when I watch the game. Which one is the closet accountant? Oh, and the hot wings. Go Hawks!