All Gussied Up

all gussied up

Since my husband is 11 years older than me and also Hawaiian, he sometimes drops words and phrases that I’ve never heard of.

“Rubber neck!” is something he might say if he told you your package was on the front porch and you turned to look only to see that nothing was there.

In my world we would say, “Made you look!!!”

And there are a ton of Hawaiian style references…rubbish instead of garbage, icebox instead of fridge, slippers instead of sandals, skoo instead of school, row instead roll, perfeck instead of perfect, etc…

And let’s not forget about the whole “bone up” conversation.

So when we were talking whether or not we used to get nervous on our first day of school, the discussion turned to first day of school outfits and how old you are when you start caring about what you look like on the first day.

Pat was all, “I’m sure you got all pussed out for school when you were a teenager.”

And I was all, “Wait, what did you just say?”

And he was all, “Did you get pussed out?”

And I was all, “Oh my God, please just stop with that phrase, what are you even talking about?”

And he was all, “You’ve never heard of pussed out? You know, like getting all dressed up?”

And I was all, “Ummmm no.”

And he was all, “Seriously, look it up and you’ll see that people get pussed out when they want to look nice.”

And I was all, “Are you sure you’re not talking about ‘all gussied up’? Because I could definitely go with a gussied up, but for sure have never in my life have used the term “pussed out” to describe an outfit and I’d really appreciate if you stopped too because I just can’t.”

And he was all laughing, “look it UP Kat!”

I did take the time to look up “pussed out” in the Urban Dictionary and unlike the time he had to sell me on “bone up” as an actual phrase people use, this time I’m afraid he’s incorrect…sort of.

Pussed out DOES exist, but it’s a way of saying someone backed out of something they said they were going to do. Once I read that I was all, “ohhhh okay yes…when you’re 17 and annoyed with your friend because they said they would go sky diving with you and then changed their mind…that might be an acceptable reason to use that phrase.”

When describing an outfit you’re wearing to school however, definitely doesn’t work at all.

Writer’s Workshop: Might Be An Intruder

1.) Something that spooked you.

bikes on lanai

me: I heard the door open downstairs and I wasn’t positive it was you because I thought you were working today.

me: I blinked wide awake and considered their might be an intruder in our house.

me: But then I was all, ‘well I’ve waited too long now so I suppose if we’re going to die then this is it’.

me: I just gave up because I was too tired to get up and check.

me: I was mildly annoyed at how my laziness and lack of speedy reaction time was about to cost us all our lives.

Pat: Yeah I’ve done that before.

me: You have? You hear a noise and then you just wait to be killed?

Pat: No, usually if I hear a noise I’ll just wait and listen really hard and check that my knife is there.

me: You have a knife!?!

Pat: Well I used to, but I think you moved it.

me: I think I would remember moving a knife.

me: So you plan to attack an intruder with a missing knife?

me: We have a missing knife in the house??

staring….

Unison: KAINOA????

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:
1.) Something that spooked you.
2.) Share a favorite recipe from your childhood that you still make today.
3.) A blog post inspired by the word: ordinary
4.) Begin with “I thought I saw…”
5.) Tell us about a smell that reminds you of home.



Writer’s Workshop: Real Riding Boots

3.) Something new.

I’ve been wearing rain boots to horse lessons for about a year now. I feel like if I buy a “real” pair of riding boots I’m really committing to this as my sport and I’ve been too busy feeling embarrassed about taking lessons in the first place. What kind of grown woman takes lessons in ANYTHING?

So I pulled out a pair of boots I bought when riding boots became fashionable wear and I was all, “Pat do these look like riding boots or do they look like fashion boots that I’m wearing while riding?”

And he was all, “They look like fashion boots you’re wearing while riding.”

Which is too bad, because when I first bought the boots Pat was all, “Whoa! Where’s the rodeo, cow girl?” and then I refused to wear them for fear everyone would think I was a confused equestrian at the mall.

They’ve been sitting in my closet, but now I don’t want to to wear them to horse lessons for fear that the REAL equestrians will be snickering about my knock off leather fashion boots.

Which means they have to go back to the closet.

“Darn it! I’m just going to have to go out and buy real riding boots…”

Realizing his frugal mistake Pat was all, “RIDING BOOTS! They look like real riding boots!! I TAKE IT BACK!”

But I was already deep into my search…these should do…

cowgirl boots

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:
1.) 9 things you’d rather be doing today.
2.) A blog post inspired by the words: growing pains
3.) Something new.
4.) Kids say the darndest things…
5.) Talk about a time you took a chance.



I Threw It On The GROUND!

Our school sent home a handout for Field Day volunteers.

My husband handed it to me blank and told me he’d like to volunteer for X number of hours.

And then he walked away so that I could fill it in for him.

But you know what I did?

I THREW IT ON THE GROUND!!!!

Maaaan, what do I look like, your mother!?!

This is a joke!

Fill out your own damn paperwork.

I’m not a part of your SYSTEM!

(video not safe for work….or children)

Writer’s Workshop: Time To Flee The Country

4.) A blog post inspired by the word: passport

Me: We’re missing Kainoa’s social security card and your passport in our fire protected safe…I’d really like those items found and come to think of it, I’d really like all of the kids to have passports…

Pat: why?

Me: I don’t know…in case we need to flee the country or something.

Pat: (insert laughter)

Me: What? What? Why are you laughing?

Pat: Flee the country? Do you think China is going to invade us and take over?

Me: It could happen.

Pat: (insert laughter)

rainier2

Me: Or maybe Ellen DeGeneres could call and be like “we love you and we want to send your entire family to Paris tomorrow!!!”

Pat: Then you tell Ellen we need time to get passports for our kids.

Me: Well that would just take the thrill out of the whole surprise now wouldn’t it?

Pat: Look, I could understand if you said you wanted to drive over to Canada for a weekend with the kids, but flee the country? Ellen DeGeneres? You’re out of your mind.

Me: I’m just saying, you never know what could happen and you’re going to be mighty happy I’ve got all of our passports ready when the time to flee the country DOES come. We’ll see who has the last laugh on this one!

rainier

Come on Ellen…don’t fail me now…

Now it’s your turn!

Mama's Losin' It

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) Tell us about your middle name.
2.) Your least favorite job you’ve ever had.
3.) What countries have you traveled to?
4.) A blog post inspired by the word: passport
5.) Signs of spring in your neighborhood!



Reasons I Love My Husband: Pumpkin Spice

Yesterday on Facebook I shared that disappointment was when you think your husband is bringing home pumpkin spice lattes, but instead plops a bag of ground coffee beans on the table.

Pat was coming home from his weekly grocery shopping trip and I was coming home from the mall with the kids and when he texted the word “coffee?” I was all “YES!”

We beat him home and I held off snacking on anything because I wanted to save myself for that Pumpkin Spice I knew was coming.

He came thumping through the door with groceries in hand and I waggled my eyebrows, “you get the coffee??”

And he was all, “ohhhhh you betcha!”

And he plopped a bag of ground coffee beans on the table.

me: What the heck is this??

him: Coffee!

me: I thought you were stopping at Starbucks!

him: Oh! No, just grabbing a bag.

me: You grabbed a bag LAST week on last week’s shopping trip. We still have a full one right here…HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT??

him: Well that’s why I texted you…to see if we needed more.

me: How much coffee do you think I drink every week?? Do you even realize what you’ve just done to my emotions??

him: Aw, sorry about that! You wanna run to Starbucks for us?

me: No I don’t want to run to Starbucks!!!

him: Well what do you want to do then?

And so I grabbed a couple of mugs and made us both coffee because he might not pick up Pumpkin Spice lattes when he implied as much by texting the word “coffee?” to me, but my man makes weekly grocery shopping trips for me and I’ll be damned if I’m going to jeopardize THAT situation by complaining about lattes!

Reasons I Love My Husband:

1.)He brings me warm bottles to give to the baby in the middle of the night when I am cussing him out in my head.

2.)He ignores my juvenile behavior and patiently waits for me to get over myself and discuss our finances like an adult.

3.)He sits back until I give him the “look” and then he swoops in and rescues me from a sure death of toddler suffocation.

4.)He sat at the door of the operating room, after I was rushed in following an emergency c-section, waiting for word of my condition…for six hours.

5.)He drives 45 minutes out of his way to go get me sushi on Friday night because I’m hungry and moody and tired and he wants me to be happy.

6.)He says things like, “Kat. Who are the most important people in your life? We are all here. We all love you. We’re not going anywhere. Just remember that.” and makes me feel better when things start getting to me.

7.)He takes time away from HIS job and comes home on a moments notice to help ME with MY job.

8.) When I’ve had a tough day with the kids he lets me talk it out until I run out of gas and then suggests we send them to a different daycare.

9.) He wears my pink polk-a-dotted apron without so much as a blink when I want to take a picture of him for The Blog.

10.)He will never leave me for Kathy Lee Gifford because he thinks she’s outdated and fears for his life.

11.) He supports my shopping habit and watches the children as I single handedly delay our family’s future for a few cute tops…ok a lot of cute tops…and some shoes…maybe a clutch.

12.) He’s one of those smarty pants people who is not on the up and up with hidden messages and does not care about superficial stuff…including the condition of my hair, windblown or not.

13.)He doesn’t take sides when I tell him to whack our son for an entire day of horrid behavior but instead delicately puts his hand on our baby boy’s head and turns to me to say, “My God Kat, he’s burning up!!” and then asks me to fetch the motrin.

14.) He knows that you can’t go putting the alpha male of this house in the runner up carseat, hence demoting him to an inferior position in his own domain.

15.) He buys me stuff to keep me from breaking his stuff.

16.) He writes me poems telling me he doesn’t want any more babies, but at least he’s being nice about it.

17.) He reminds me of our anniversary when our anniversary is nearly over and doesn’t hate me for forgetting even though I kind of hate him a little for not bringing me diamonds when he was the one who remembered.

18.) He puts thought into buying me the most ridiculous Christmas present I could never ask for.

19.) He doesn’t bring home yellow apples.

20.) He let’s me rip on him about his man colds  even though I’ve got one of my own.

21.) I’m not sure there are many men who would put up with my interrogating the way he does.

22.) I love that he leaves the porch light on for me whenever I leave, even if he doesn’t appreciate my reciprocation.

24.) He checks on me when it sounds like I’m being electrocuted…during a commercial break of course.

23.) He takes weekly grocery shopping trips and I’ll be damned if I’m going to jeopardize THAT situation by complaining about lattes!